


The Proposal

by IrisofParadise



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Will Add More Later, proposal au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-05-24 02:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6138286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisofParadise/pseuds/IrisofParadise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hell must be in Moscow because everyone is sure that Vladimir Ranskahov, chief editor, is Satan incarnate. Matt's almost one hundred percent sure of it actually. Of course when Vladimir's immigration visa is denied he drags Matt into a lie saying that they are engaged in order to avoid Vladimir's deportation, that all changes as they learn more about each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChrisVertner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrisVertner/gifts).



> I am such shit at summaries even when basing off of a movie. I'm so sorry.  
> Anyway! For chrisvertner who helped me with ideas and sent me the movie (all of my love goes to you).  
> I was going to upload this tomorrow and update the royalty au but I have midterms all week so it may not be until next Tuesday when I can update all of my fics because when I'm not at school or taking a test I'm at work.  
> One more thing, I am such cartinelli trash that I couldn't help but hint at it. I'm so sorry. And Becky is Becky Blake. She had the hots for Matt at some point in the comics. At first I was going to use Karen in her place but I have a certain role for Karen that I think she is much better suited for later on. Same for Claire and Elektra.

FOGGY FOGGY FOGG- 

There was a thud sound as the cell phone fell to the floor and the blind man let out a groan as his phone continued with its monotonous, FOGGY FOGGY FO-

“‘lo?” Matt grunted out voice groggy from sleep as he finally managed to pick up and unlock the phone.

“Good morning starshine! The earth says hello!” Foggy said brightly. Far too brightly considering it’s too early to be alive. Matt groans loudly, face shoved back into the pillow “You’re not even out of bed yet, are you?” Foggy just shakes his head, Matt just knows because they’ve been friends for so long, and gives a very exaggerated sigh. “Matty my dear best friend, you need to get up and get our favorite creature of the night coffee. You’re running about half an hour late.” 

“Shit!” Matt yelps out, practically jumping from the bed in his haste to get dressed and ready for work. “Shit shit  _ shit _ he’s going to fire me!” He yells into the phone, tripping over his own feet as he starts to pick up the suit from the previous day off of the floor. 

Foggy scoffs. “I think you’re being very polite by calling that demon beast a person but yeah. You may want to hurry and on that note, I’m going to finish getting ready for work. Marci said she’d bring me a bagel. Have I ever mentioned I adore that woman?”

“About four times a week. At least,” Matt says, briskly walking to the kitchen as he attempts to tie his tie without accidentally choking himself. “Be there in a bit, Fog.” 

With that said both young men are hanging up and Matt is running out of his apartment, foregoing on locking the door in favor of running down the street, glasses almost falling from his face, and cane in hand. For one fleeting moment he considers forgetting about coffee but knows that that decision can have even worse consequences than being late. But as he walks into the Starbucks that is right across the busy New York street from Hell’s Kitchen’s Publishing and listens to the people moving and yelling he begins to once more feel dread wash over him like a tsunami wave. There’s just no way that he can get to the front of the line, get the coffees, and make it to work all before his boss gets there. 

“Hey Matt!” He hears a bubbly voice yell from behind the counter. He grins widely as he recognizes the voice belonging to Becky. 

He moves carefully with mutters of, “I’m so sorry, please excuse me. Sorry, I’m sorry,” until he’s at the counter and feeling two coffees pushed into his hands. “Becky, you are an angel and have literally just saved my life for today,” Matt breathes out with a grateful grin. 

The girl just laughs and waves him out. “Sure, Matt. Have a good day!” Her own happy grin falls ever so slightly as he nods and takes off in a rush. She jumps as she feels a nudge to her arm. 

“Mm, girl, you got it bad for him,” Angie says with a giggle, nudging Becky to get her to go back to work. 

Becky rolls her eyes as she moves to take more orders. “Oh please, and you don’t have it bad for a customer?” 

“Hey, Peggy’s different! She actually knows I exist unlike Mister Murdock who you never speak to,” Angie says, handing a cup to an elderly lady with a wide grin and sweet, “Have a nice day ma’am!” 

“Oh yes, Miss Peggy. The girl you always give free English muffins to,” Becky whispers with a giggle then turns back to take more orders.

Angie gives a fake pout but can’t keep it up for long before she’s giggling. “It’s called poetic irony or something. She’s from England. I call her English. And so I give her English muffins.”

“You’re a dork.”

“A dork with a crush. The worst kind of dork if you ask me,” she turned to hand a cup of frozen coffee to a young man, “Here you go sir! Have a great day!”

~oOo~ 

Meanwhile Vladimir was readying himself for work at a calm, leisurely pace, not seeming to notice that he was moving at a slower pace than usual as he read through a manuscript. His eyes remain glued to the pages even as he rinses his bowl out and finishes tugging his suit jacket on. 

The manuscript takes him away from everything else, even if just for a bit, and he forgets about the overwhelming silence that clings to his apartment much like a dark cloud. But he stuffs the manuscript, nearly completely finished reading it, into his briefcase and made his way out of the apartment and towards the elevator. 

Once in, his cellphone began to chime loudly in his pocket. A glance at the screen and he grins widely, pointing at the screen. “Ha! Knew you would call! Knew it! Now tell me what I want to hear!” He yells, finger about to swipe the phone so he can answer but he stops when he hears a snort from beside him. 

“You have to put it to your ear so that you can actually hear and talk to them, Mister Ranskahov.”

Vladimir scowls over at the man. “Oh fuck off Nobu,” he says dryly before swiping the phone and answering with a false bright, “Vladimir here! Ah, yes, Madame Gao! So glad to hear back from you!”

~oOo~

Matt rushes quickly into the building and yells for someone to not let the elevator close before he can make it over. Thankfully, Foggy sticks out his hand and keeps the door from closing. “Running a little late there, Matty. Rough morning?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe. How’s everyone else's morning?” The auburn haired man asks as the elevator begins to slowly move. 

He winces as he’s pushed lightly. “Alright Murdock,” he instantly recognizes the grumpy voice that belongs to Jessica, “how long is that fucker going to make us be here at ass o’clock?”

Before Matt can even open his mouth Foggy scoffs. “Oh please. It’s not ass o’clock. It’s about half past ass but still.”

Matt doesn’t give his best friend and the sleep deprived woman who smells a bit too strongly of Jack time to begin their morning complaints on their tyrannical boss. “Unfortunately guys, the beast doesn’t exactly consult with me on these things. I wish he did, but alas, Comrade Asshole does not.” He gave a pleased smirk as a few other people in the crowded elevator chuckled at the names.

It was no secret that everyone in the building equal parts hated and feared Vladimir Ranskahov. The Russian was a cold and heartless, at least he had everyone thinking so, boss and didn’t give a care about any of his employees. No one knew much about Vladimir Ranskahov. Only that he was from Russia and apparently that’s where Hell was because they were all willing to bet their lives on him being Satan incarnate. He was cold, devoid of human emotion, took pleasure in the way his employees would duck their eyes down to avoid meeting his gaze. 

The only one who didn’t duck his head most of the time was Matt and that was just because Matt couldn’t exactly see the glares and scowls that the Russian would give, thus they had no effect on him. Which may be why Vladimir seemed hellbent on making Matt’s very existence a nightmare. 

Vladimir had graduated with a master’s degree from university at the young age of twenty-five, immigrated to the United States, and ran his company with an iron fist, a degree in business and editing, and no human soul. But what he lacked in decent basic human skills, he made up for many times over with his business abilities. 

Anyone would have loved working directly for the direct boss of one of the most successful companies in New York, but really, Matt just felt like a glorified circus monkey most days. He was a glorified secretary at the age of twenty-five and had been for close to three years now.  He arranged all of Vladimir’s meetings, booked conference calls, answering calls. And usually even got sent on coffee runs. Occasionally Vladimir would spice up the coffee runs with a list of pastries he wanted too. Matt most certainly did not sign up for this but he would just force a grin to his face and say, “Of course Mister Ranskahov. Anything else?” 

And then twitch as Vladimir would just scoff at him. “Nyet. If I wanted anything else I would have said something, now wouldn’t I have? Go. And no whipped cream on my coffee. Hate that shit.”

The elevator let out a shrill ding and everyone began to rush to move to do their jobs, all hoping to busy themselves before Vladimir showed up and started barking orders at them. Matt apparently wasn’t moving fast enough because someone bumped him, didn’t even bother apologizing, and one of the coffees went flying in the air before crashing to the floor and making a large mess. 

“Oh come on! Come! On! What the fuck?! Why?!” Matt yelled out, pinching the bridge of his nose as he fought to control his now racing heart. “Why is this happening to me?” He muttered, fighting to keep his other hand from shaking and spilling that coffee as well. 

Foggy rubbed his back and started to walk him to Vladimir’s office. “Maybe that’s what some people call insta-karma?”

“Insta-karma for what?!” Matt asks, voice slightly higher in his worry over spilling Vladimir’s coffee and now having to give up his own.

“Comrade Asshole?” Foggy repeats, eyebrow raised and tone full of amusement at the new nickname for their boss.

The blind man just let out a whine. “I needed that coffee. I don’t know how else I’m going to make it through the rest of my day, Fog.” Foggy doesn’t say anything, just gives him a pitying look and rushes out as he hears everyone else stop talking, meaning that Vladimir is walking into the building and will soon be up.

Matt frowned, brows furrowing. It felt as though his blood froze in his veins as he heard the office instant messenger tone ring its way through the office. 

‘ _ The Beast is here. _ ’

Quickly, he puts on his brightest grin, the one that he knows makes most people warm up to him immediately. It seems to have the complete opposite affect on Vladimir though. The Russian takes one look at his assistant and promptly scoffs.

“Coffee.”

“Right here Mister Ranskahov,” Matt says, holding the coffee out to the blonde dutifully. “Good morning, boss.” Vladimir’s huff almost makes him lose his grin. Almost. “You have a conference call in half an hour-”

“Cancel it,” Vladimir interrupts before taking a gulp of the mocha cappuccino. He lets out a small hum in pleasure then slowly takes another sip. 

Matt doesn’t even falter. “A staff meeting at nine-”

“Move to eight.”

“And lastly, your immigration lawyer called,” Vladimir groaned but waited for Matt to finish speaking, “she said she has some papers for you to sign and that it was a rather urgent matter and will be bringing those by around noon.”

The Russian nods and takes another sip of his coffee, ears a light pink as he realizes he once again nodded and didn’t say anything to his assistant. A habit he’d been attempting to break for almost three years but seemed to still be struggling with. “Da. Big news, Gao is doing interview.”

Matt’s brows shoot up in surprise. “Wow. Uh wow. Nice job,” he says in awe. 

Vladimir rolls his eyes and turns in his chair to face his computer screen. “If I wanted your praise I would ask for it. Get to work, Matthew.” He waits as he hears Matt mutter a low, “Yes, boss,” before attempting to run from the private office. Then he says slowly, “So… Who is Becky and why am I calling her?”

Matt turns to him, expression full of confusion. “Excuse me?”

Vladimir raises an eyebrow then reads out slowly, accent slightly thicker than usual, “Matt, your hair looks fabulous in the morning. Bed head is a great look on you! Call me, Becky.” The Russian grins evilly as he watches his assistant turn a bright red. But instead of stopping there he takes in Matt’s rumpled suit that he instantly recognized as the suit he had worn yesterday and still messy hair. “Now, I do not care what you do or who you do in your free time, do not interrupt me,” he glares as Matt opens his mouth then quickly closes it with an audible click as his teeth grind together, “but when you come to work, you are representing me and I expect for your personal life to not be interfering with your work. Am I understood?”

“Yes, boss,” Matt mutters, turning his face to the floor to hide his burning face from Vladimir’s view. “Uh. That was… I mean…” 

“Any day now Matthew,” the Russian drawls out lazily.

“My coffee… It was mine,” the younger man says slowly, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly with one hand while he points at where he knows Vladimir is sitting with his free hand.

“Why am I drinking your coffee?” The Russian asked, completely unamused with his assistant’s behavior. 

“I uh… Had an accident and spilled yours?” Matt says, though his statement comes out sounding more like a question.

Vladimir can’t help but smirk in glee as Matt seems to try to hide himself. “So,” he takes another much louder sip of his coffee, “is Wilson here?”

“Pretty sure of it.”

The Russian narrows his eyes. “Do not sass me.  _ I'm sick of your back talk. _ ” He grins in satisfaction as Matt visibly seem to shrink in on himself, not understanding the foreign words but thinking the worst.

Matt quickly puts a false grin back onto his face. “Would you like me to give his office a call, sir?”

Vladimir waves his hand. “Nyet, we’re going there. Grab your pad and we’re going.”

“Yes sir,” Matt repeats, calmly walking out of Vladimir’s private office. Once the door shuts behind him he’s rushing to where he knows his own computer is at and he’s quickly typing a message; ‘Vlad the Impaler is on the warpath to Fisk’s office!’ And then he is calmly standing and waiting for Vladimir. 

The Russian comes out, seeming completely disinterested with Matt, eyes narrowed as he watches all of his employees type frantically at their computers while some are having conversations on the telephones. He nods in approval before  storming his way towards Wilson Fisk’s office. 

Unknowingly to him, the previously dead office area has bounced back to life with false conversations of work. Conversations begin to die down the further that Vladimir, with Matt hot on his heels, moves closer to Wilson’s office. 

Vladimir gives a glare to the cup with the drawn on hearts. “So you drink mocha cappuccinos with cinnamon and extra sugar too?” He raises an eyebrow as he takes another sip of the coffee that is an exact replica of his own. 

Matt coughs to clear his throat. “Yeah. It’s like a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven. Delicious. And why else would I be drinking it? In case I drop yours, ha,” Matt forces a laugh that quickly dies mid laugh. “That would be pathetic,” he finished dryly. 

The blonde scoffed once more. “Da,” he said slowly, very dryly continuing with, “extremely pathetic. Now remember, you are just a prop in here and very unimportant. So don’t speak. Or breathe.” With that said, he opened the door and walked right into the office, ignoring Matt’s frown.

“Wilson!”

“Ah. Mister Ranskahov. And his ever loyal secretary,” the bald man said, giving a small nod of the head as he watched the blonde walk around his office. Both Fisk and Vladimir ignored as Matt gave a low mutter of, “Assistant.”

Vladimir raised an eyebrow as he took in the nice bookshelf that he was fairly certain was new but then quickly turned to face Fisk, expression completely bored. “I am letting you go.”

Matt’s eyes widened in surprise and he slowly shut the door as quietly as he could. Fisk meanwhile just stared, jaw slack and eyes wide, in shock at the blonde who was staring right back with an eyebrow raised. 

“Excuse me?”

Vladimir took a gulp of his coffee, finishing it off with a hum. “Letting you go. Did I say that wrong? Hm, firing you. Does that work better?”

Fisk licked his lips, tense. “May I ask why?”

“Because you didn’t get Madame Gao to agree to the Oprah interview. You did not even call her. I,” he pointed to himself with a proud smirk, “on the other hand have and so you have two months to find another job and then we can say you just resigned, da? Dasvidaniya. Matthew, go,” he tapped on Matt’s shoulder to get the smaller man to move out of the office. 

They only managed six steps before Fisk was at the doorway yelling, “You disgusting son of a bitch!” There is an audible gasp throughout the office as everyone stops moving and turns to stare in shock at the scene unfolding before them. Matt moves to lean against the wall, face turned to the floor. “You can’t fire me! You’re just threatened by me! Just because you have no semblance of a life outside of work doesn’t mean that the rest of us don’t! Some of have families to go home to! Some of us have friends!”

Vladimir has begun to narrow his eyes but doesn’t say anything, choosing to wait until Fisk has finished blowing up before speaking. But he does shake his head slowly in fake disappointment.

“You think that just because you never leave here that you can treat the rest of us like your own personal slaves! Well you know what, I pity you! Because at the end of the day I have a wife to go home to and you have no one! You will never have anyone!” The large man finished almost smugly, chest heaving as he finished his spill.

Everyone else in the office turned to watch Vladimir for his reaction while Matt just covered his mouth with one hand in surprise. No one ever spoke to the Russian that way.

Vladimir meanwhile kept his cool and just rolled his eyes. “Please. I am not threatened by you. I am firing you because you are lazy and entitled and incompetent. Now, get your things and get out or I will have Matthew here-”

“Me?!” Matt squeaks out, jerking to attention. Almost as if he can feel his boss’s glare, he nods and says much more confidently than he’s actually feeling, “Yeah. Me.”

“-throw you out while his friend Misty-”

“Foggy,” Matt whispers before falling silent once more.

“-records it on his phone and uploads it to that video site,” he snaps his fingers at Matt. 

Who just makes a face before saying slowly, “Youtube?”

“Da, youtube, and so if you will excuse me I want you gone by the end of the hour. Some of us have actual work to do,” he turns and leaves the bald man, Matt following after him after only a moments hesitation. He couldn’t help but to feel as though he were being led to his execution as he followed his still seething boss back to Vladimir’s office.

“Call his authors, let them know that I will be working with them now. And we need to begin scheduling Gao’s appointments before she decides to change her mind,” Vladimir instructs as he begins shuffling papers around on his desk. “We’re going to be busy this weekend so don’t make any plans, understood?”

Matt frowns. “This weekend?”

“Da. Problem?”

“But, Mister Ranskahov, sir, it’s Nana’s ninetieth birthday this weekend and I have to be there an-” he snapped his mouth shut as Vladimir interrupted him.

“ _ I gave you the weekend off? _ ” The blonde muttered in his native tongue before he shook his head. “I am afraid I did not understand you, Matthew. Repeat that?” His tone was full of warning and he took great satisfaction in the way that his assistant’s shoulders dropped in defeat.

Matt was slightly surprised that Vladimir was even giving him time to change what he’d said, surprised that the Russian had that small amount of kindness in him especially after what had just happened with Fisk less than ten minutes ago. So instead, Matt just forces a tired grin and says with a shrug, “It’s nothing. I’ll call and just tell my family that I can’t make it. No big deal.”

Vladimir just hummed in approval. “Good, now,” he held out his empty coffee cup just a few inches away from Matt, “throw this away and let’s get to work.”

The auburn haired man felt his eye twitch and was momentarily happy for the glasses that hid this from his boss. Sometimes he wondered if the chance of being promoted to editor was worth working under Vladimir all day, everyday. Not that the Russian ever acknowledged the fact that Matt should be promoted.

“So, did you finish that manuscript I got done for you?” Matt asked after a few silent moments.

Vladimir didn’t even look up from said manuscript that he had pulled from his briefcase as his assistant threw away his empty coffee cup. “I read a few pages,” he lied, flipping a page, “Very unimpressive.” He raised an eyebrow as Matt’s shoulders fell then his stance took on a more determined pose.

“If you don’t mind, I’ve read hundreds of manuscripts. This is the only one I’ve given you-”

“And is shit,” the Russian cut him off. “If I wanted your input I would ask.” He finishes, tone full of finality. He grins as Matt slumps slightly but does as commanded and drops the subject.

~oOo~

The phone’s sudden ringing at noon jerks both men out of their jobs and Matt quickly answers the phone, knowing how annoyed the shrill ringing makes Vladimir and how the ringing occasionally gives him a headache as well. 

“Mister Ranskahov’s office. Yes. Okay. Alright,” Matt nods along them hangs up. “Coulson and Hogarth want to see you upstairs.”

The Russian groans loudly but stands none the less. “Come and get me in ten minutes.”

Matt makes an okay sign with his hand. “Okie dokie.”

“And don’t say that. Sound like a child,” Vladimir snaps out, hand already turning the doorknob. 

He doesn't notice how Matt just rolls his eyes and corrects himself with, “Yes sir, boss,” and a small salute. The twenty-five year old waits until he hears the door click shut then moves from his more uncomfortable spot to Vladimir’s desk, smirking to himself as he spins in a circle in the spinning chair. “I could get used to this.” He props his feet onto the desk. “Oh yeah. Very used to this.”

Vladimir briskly makes his way out of the elevator and to the office where the executive chairman and his lawyer are waiting for him. He ignores as the secretaries  attempt to give him warm greetings. It wasn’t to be rude, not really, he just had more important things on his mind then people working below him. So he plasters on his best fake smile and lets himself into the office.

“Ah! Phil, Jeri,” he shakes their hand and all three sit back down in their respective leather seats. “Good to see both of you. Thank you for seeing me today.”

Coulson just gives a smile back. “Before we start this off, Mister Ranskahov I just wanted to say that I caught wind of your recent work and believe congratulations are in order on securing that television spot with Oprah. You have no idea how beneficial that this is going to be to our company."

Vladimir can’t help but grin in pride. But he tries to play it off. “Is nothing.”

Jeri gave a small cough, nodded her head ever so slightly, and Coulson just nodded in understanding. “Now then, with that said, do you remember when we agreed that it was best if you not go to the Frankfurt book fair due to your immigration visa application?”

The blonde nodded, careful to keep his expression neutral. “I do.”

Coulson raised an eyebrow. “And then you went to Frankfurt.”

Again, the blonde man just gave a cool smile and kept his expression carefully neutral. “I realize that was against policy, but had I not gone the proposal offered in Frankfurt would have gone to-”

Jeri took this moment to lean forward slightly and give her client a disapproving look. “Mister Ranskahov, unfortunately for you, the United States government could not care less about who publishes who or what.” Both men frown at her but she just pushes ahead. “And we have spoken with the immigration office this morning.”

For the first time in a good while, Vladimir feels himself growing very concerned, body tensing and heart beginning to race in worry. He has to stop himself from wiping his suddenly sweaty palms onto his slacks. Instead, he forces a grin. “That is good then, yes? Everything is taken care of and I can just get back to work now?” He is about to stand when both Coulson and Hogarth frown at him, the woman shaking her head. 

“No,” Jeri turns a sheet of paper over and lets Vladimir take a good look at it. “Due to this offense your visa has been declined and you are being deported back to Russia.”

For a moment Vladimir’s brain cannot seem to understand the words and their meaning but then he is saying slowly, “De- deported? Deported back to Russia? But that- no- nyet- I… Surely there is something that can be done?” He looks to his lawyer in desperation.

Her answer is less than satisfying for him. “We can always have you reapply later, Mister Ranskahov,” he nods in understanding, “but,” his hope is crushed as she continues, “until then you will have to leave the country for at least a year before anything can be done. And this time make sure to complete the paperwork, all of it, correctly and in a timely manner to prevent this from happening.”

Vladimir feels as though the coffee he had drank earlier was about to make its way back up and he swallowed thickly, nodding more to himself as he tried to think of a plan. “Da. Alright. A year… Not the most ideal of situations, but we can work with this. Video conference calls are amazing now… yes? No? Nyet?” He trails off as Coulson purses his lips and shakes his head, mouthing, ‘no’.

“Mister Ranskahov, it doesn’t work that way,” Coulson begins. 

Jeri interrupts with a stern, “If you are deported, you cannot legally work for an American company.”

Coulson nods. “Yeah. That. So until this is resolved I’m going to hand things over to Wilson Fisk.” His expression filled with pity as Vladimir’s eyes widen. 

“You can’t be serious! The Fisk that I just fired?!” Vladimir groaned then gave Coulson and his lawyer a pleading look. “Please, there has to be something, anything, that we can do?”

The door opens with a quiet creak and small knock, “Mister Ranskahov, sorry to interrupt bu-”

“We are in a meeting if you don’t mind,” Jeri interrupts with a look to Matt. 

“I know. I’m very sorry, but it’s important.”

Vladimir tossed a glare over his shoulder. “Chto?” He snapped out. A glance at his watch and he saw it had been eleven minutes since he’d entered the office. He made a mental note to yell at Matthew later for being late.

“Uhm, Miss Van Dyne is on the phone for you. She insists that she speak with you immediately,” Matt said. 

Vladimir felt his eye twitch as his assistant made up an excuse just as he’d been ordered to earlier. “Matthew I am a little busy at the moment,” he snapped out as coldly as he could manage. It only gave him a small amount of satisfaction to watch the younger man wince and take a small step back. 

Matt’s brows furrow as he takes in the tenseness in the room, so thick that you could cut it with a knife. But instead of fleeing the room as his instincts insisted and how his boss so clearly wanted, he took a deep breath and put on a fake sorrowful smile. “I know, I’m sorry. But she insisted that she speak with you directly. I told her that you were otherwise engaged, but I don’t know how long I can hold her off.”

That word. Engaged. It was suddenly as though a switch had been flipped in his head and a light went off. His hands ceased their shaking, ‘ _ When did that even happen? _ ’, and Vladimir stood slowly.

“Uh…” Vladimir trailed off, blue eyes never leaving Matt’s face as the thought played out in his head. Seeing no other way to make this work, he coughed to clear his throat. His assistant broke out into a cold sweat as he felt Vladimir’s gaze boring into him with determination. “Come here,” the Russian hissed out almost silently before turning back to face Coulson and Hogarth once more. 

Slowly as if wading through an ocean, Matt moved closer until he was standing next to the seat that Vladimir had previously been sitting in. The Russian completely ignored how his assistant looked like a deer in the headlights, not understanding what was going on but feeling very uncomfortable all the same. Vladimir only hoped that Coulson and Hogarth didn’t notice Matt’s unease. The blonde waits until Matt is standing right next to him, doing absolutely nothing to hide his unease and curiosity which almost makes him groan, before he is speaking once more. 

“I understand completely. This is a very unfortunate event and so I hate to tell you this news like this, but, well uh, we are,” he gestures towards Matt then back to himself, “getting married.”

Matt turns his neck to where he can feel Vladimir standing. “Who are?”

“We are. Dorogoi,” Vladimir almost chokes on the term of endearment but grins down with a fake fond look at his auburn haired assistant. He tugs Matt closer, arm wrapping very loosely around his waist. “Da! We are,” he takes a deep breath and pulls another very obviously fake grin, “getting married.”

When Matt doesn’t say anything, just remains very tense like a tightly wound spring, he gives a sharp tiny pinch to the man’s waist. Matt bites his tongue to keep himself from yelping and just hurriedly nods. “Yeah! Married. Me and him. Him and me. Us. We.”

Jeri takes one look at them and promptly rolls her eyes and scoffs. “You two? Isn’t he your secretary?”

Both men make a face at her. 

“Assistant, actually,” Matt corrects as calmly as he can, somehow managing to break from his shell shocked state to say this. 

Vladimir nods. “Executive assistant. Titles,” he waves his hand dismissively. “Unimportant, yes?” At the look Jeri is still giving him, Vladimir forces a laugh, thanking whatever deity is out there that it doesn’t come out hysterical. “Besides, is not like no one else has ever fallen in love with their assistant or secretary! Right, Jeri?”

Jeri pursed her lips and looked away for a moment. 

“You know,” Vladimir continued, smirking at his lawyer’s slight distress. “What with Pam.”

“I got it.”

“And that divorce.”

Jeri held up her hand. “I said, I got it, Mister Ranskahov.”

Vladimir held up his hands, ignored the way Matt almost completely untensed now that his arm wasn’t around him. “Matthew, Matvey, and I, we uh, we just, things happen,” he gave a shrug, pleased when Matt slowly nodded. “All of those late nights in office.”

“So late,” Matt adds.

“All those weekend book fairs. And all of those coffee runs-”

“So, so many. You have no idea the amount of coffee this man drinks,” Matt interrupts, not noticing how Vladimir glared down at him for a moment. “The amount of sugar he has in his coffee, he’s probably going to die of a sugar overdose.”

“Thank you, Matvey!” Vladimir says loudly, stopping his assistant from talking any further. “We just were two people who shouldn’t have but did fall in love. We were going to wait to announce it but…” He trailed off with another forced laugh. “Anyway! Everyone good? Everybody is happy, da? Because Matthew, my Matvey and I,” he throws an arm very loosely around Matt’s shoulders and is pleased when Matt doesn’t tense up as he did early, “we are so happy.”

“So happy. So much happiness in my life,” Matt adds, a grin accompanying his dry tone.

Phil watched them in amusement, knowing full and well that Vladimir was faking but choosing not to say anything. He couldn’t lose his best employee after all. “Well, congratulations are in order then, aren’t they? To you and your fiancé. But uh… Make it legal, okay?” He taps his ring finger and gives a very pointed look to both Vladimir’s and Matt’s own very naked and non ringed fingers. 

Matt frowns, brows furrowing in confusion. “Legal?”

The blonde nods in understanding. “Da! Of course. Then that means that we need to uh…”

“Get yourselves to the immigration office,” Jeri says helpfully, eyebrow raised as she watches both men flounder like fish out of water.

“Da, that. So we are going now while on lunch break. Come on Matvey, dorogoi,” Vladimir says, grabbing onto Matt’s wrist and almost dragging the still shell shocked man along behind him. 

As Matt is dragged behind Vladimir back to the Russian’s private office he hears snippets of hushed conversations and the pinging of the office’s instant messenger going off. 

“He’s marrying that?!” “Oh, poor, sweet, innocent Matt!” “Marrying the communist?!” “Hey Murdock! How’s that going?!”

And he begins to feel sick to his stomach as the past few minutes finally seem to be registering in his brain. He can’t help but to think to himself, ‘ _ I hate my life so much. Please don’t let me throw up in front of Vladimir.’ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this chapter was probably way too much fun to write. The third chapter is a close second though maybe.   
> And another thing, I'm so sorry for the ending. It wasn't supposed to be like that and I am so sorry. It happened and I apparently like suffering.

Matt stands, feeling completely awkward now that he and Vladimir are alone and the whole office knows they are now engaged but they really aren’t. While Matt kept his face blank as he had his internal melt down in front of Vladimir’s desk, the Russian meanwhile seemed completely composed and unaffected by the new development in his relationship with his assistant. It took a few moments, but eventually he noticed that Matt wasn’t moving from his stupor and was in fact standing in front of his desk. 

“Yes? What?” Vladimir snapped out, eyebrow raised. He shuffled the papers around into neater piles as he waited for the auburn haired man to say something. His eye twitched as he saw a smudge of dirt printing the perfect outline of a foot onto his desk. That was not there when he’d left and he glared up at Matt.

Who blinked rapidly behind his glasses, took a deep breath, opened his mouth to speak. “What the fu-” he broke himself off and coughed to clear his throat. “Vladimir, sir, I won’t even lie. I don’t understand what’s going on.” The Russian just blew out a huff. “Is this a joke? Or real life? Are we seriously getting,” he chokes on the word, “ _ married _ ?”

The blonde rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. “Oh relax, Matthew. This benefits you as well.”

Matt’s eyebrows raise. “Okay, do explain.” He waved his hand for Vladimir to continue then crossed his arms over his chest and waited for Vladimir’s explanation with a thought of, ‘ _ Oh this is going to be good _ .’

“I may be deported. They were going to put Fisk in charge.” Vladimir scowled as Matt shrugged, clearly not following along. “I was going to lose my job and you were too.”

The auburn haired man frowned. “Wha- why me?”

The Russian scoffed at his assistants idiocy. “You are my personal assistant. Do you really think Fisk would want to keep you around? And if he is in charge in my place you can just wave goodbye to any hope of becoming an editor.”

“So naturally I have to marry you?” Matt asks, still incredulous of the whole situation. To him, it’s not clicking just yet. But he makes a mental note to bring up the fact that Vladimir seems to have caught onto his hints of being promoted.

Vladimir laughs somewhat cruelly at the look on Matt’s face. “Oh, da, as if you are saving yourself for someone special,” he laughs out, smirking as Matt’s shoulders slump once more.

“Well,” Matt makes a face, “yeah, I like to think so? Besides, it’s illegal. Or did you forget that little bit, boss?”

The Russian frowns and leans forward, pointing at Matt with his index finger. “ _ We spoke of this earlier. Stop fucking sassing me. _ ” The foreign words have their desired effect, Matt doesn’t understand them and looks completely defeated. Another scoff from Vladimir, something he finds himself doing a lot today, and the Russian says dryly, “The government is looking for terrorists, Matthew, not book publishers.”

“Vladimir, I’m not doing this,” Matt states simply. “I won’t. It’s illegal. And I have a very strict no breaking the law policy going on in my life.”

Vladimir narrows his eyes and moves quickly so that he’s turning Matt around and almost shoving him so that the smaller man is pushed almost onto the desk. “Yes,” Vladimir pokes Matt in the center of the chest, “you,” another poke, “are. Because otherwise, all of those late nights at work, all of the coffee runs, all three years of you being my little dancing monkey, yes I know you said that because I heard you tell it to Misty-”

“Foggy,” Matt breathes out, face red in embarrassment that his boss had heard him call himself that. He wondered for a moment if Vladimir possibly knew about the names that the rest of the employees called him.

“I don’t care! All of the signings! The pouring over books! Everything! All of it! Useless and gone if Fisk is in charge! You get fired and I get sent back to the icy hell of Moscow!” Vladimir gives a shudder as he thinks back to the empty house he’d left in Moscow. But then shoves the memory away and stands up straight, finally moving back a bit to give Matt room to breathe. “I am doing you favor, Matthew.” The assistant just bites his lower lip as Vladimir’s words and their meaning begins to sink in. “Once we are married and my status as American citizen is set, we can divorce and you can go about your happy little life and we pretend this never even happened but until then-”

“I get it,” Matt spits out coolly, eyes narrowed from behind his glasses. “My wagon is hitched to yours. Fine. Let’s go do this immigration meeting thing and move on!”

The pleased noise that Vladimir hums out makes Matt have to restrain himself from punching the smug man in the face. He thinks he perhaps has gotten better at self control. Though as he leads the way to the elevator and hears the mutters and feels the stares of the other employees, he can’t help but wish that something could save him. Dinosaurs or aliens destroying New York would be more preferable to this situation he’s found himself in.

~oOo~

Vladimir grips onto Matt’s wrist when they enter the crowded building and forcefully drags the American along behind him to the front of the line. He ignores Matt’s hissed whispers of, “Boss, there’s a line!” He forces a smile onto his face as he cuts to the front of the line and hands a sheet of paper to the man across the counter. 

“Hello, this won’t take but a minute. I need this fiancé visa filled out.”

The man takes one look at him and Matt then the line and huffs. “Yeah. Follow me, please.”

Vladimir tugs Matt behind him, ignoring as Matt breathes out apologies to the other waiting people. He wants this over and done with probably more than Matt does. They’re led to a room and Matt slowly seats himself, holding his cane so tightly that his knuckles have turned white. While Vladimir leans against a wall and stares at his assistant turned fiancé.

He had to admit, Matthew wasn’t too awful to look at. His hair was still a bit of a mess, but not as badly as it had been that morning. He never really saw the man without his glasses on and couldn’t for the life of him remember what color the man’s eyes were. ‘ _Probably_ _hazel_ ,’ he thought dismissively, still raking his eyes over the man’s form. He frowned as he noticed for the first time how thin Matt really was but quickly shoved the worry away with a fleeting thought of, ‘ _Why should I worry?_ ’ All in all though, Matthew wasn’t too bad to look at and he thought he did rather well for a fake fiancé. Not that it mattered of course, they were just going to use each other and then in a few months everything would be back to normal because this changed nothing.

Matt pursed his lips, still gripping his cane far too tightly in his grip. “This is never going to work,” he muttered, shaking his head ever so slightly. “We are going to get caught right here, right now, and we are both going to jail.”

Vladimir just rolled his eyes and pulled his cellphone out of his pocket, tapping away at the screen. “No we are not. And if we are caught I am going to Moscow, not jail. You are going to jail,” Matt frowned even more if that was possible and looked as though he were ready to fall over any moment now, “so we just don’t get caught and all will be fine,” Vladimir finished sounding much more confident than he was actually feeling.

Matt just let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a whine. “I just have a bad feeling about all of this.”

“Well stop that. What time did you schedule the appointment with Miss Danvers?” Vladimir asked, eyes never leaving his phone as he scrolled through it, looking at his calendar and appointment times.

“Wha- what?” The assistant spluttered out, shocked that Vladimir didn’t even seem phased by everything that was happening to them today.

The Russian just moved to sit in the equally as uncomfortable chair next to Matt. “Danvers. Our appointment with her. When is it? Or are you suddenly incompetent today?” Vladimir couldn’t help but to be amused as he noticed his assistant scowling openly at him. 

“It’s next Friday at four, sir,” Matt ground out, propping his cane against the seat so that he could cross his arms over his chest. Vladimir just gave a hum and continued to scroll through his phone.

What felt like an eternity, but was probably really only five minutes, passed before the door handle was giving a rattle and the door squeaking open to reveal a dark haired man with glasses. He took one look at both men and gave an almost tired sounding, “Ah, good afternoon gentlemen. I’m Wesley and you must be Matthew,” Matt gave a forced smile and tense nod, “and Vladimir?”

The blonde stood and shook Wesley’s hand with a firm grip. “Da, thank you for meeting with us on such short notice. Greatly appreciated.”

Wesley just gave a nod. “Yes, sorry about the wait. It’s been a rather eventful day. Please, sit,” he gestured back to the seat that Vladimir had just vacated before walking over to his desk and sitting in his own seat. “So,” he shuffled the papers in his hands around some, “before we get started I just have one simple question; is this some illegal attempt at cheating the American government to keep Vladimir from being deported and losing his job as chief editor at Hell’s Kitchen’s Publishing?”

He asked it so casually, blunt and to the point, wasting no time, that it honestly shocked both Matt and Vladimir. The auburn haired man let out a small noise and turned to face where he knew Vladimir was sitting. While Vladimir quickly forced himself out of his stupor and let out a small laugh. 

“Ah! Good joke, Mister Wesley. No, of course not. This is completely legal and binding. Why would you even think such a thing?” The Russian asked, making sure to keep his expression amused.

It doesn’t seem to be fooling the dark haired man who just smiles back at the grinning Russian. “We received an anonymous call earlier this afternoon with a tip that you may be coming here with your secretary-”

“Assistant,” Matt corrects softly, gripping his cane tightly once more.

Wesley just raises an eyebrow but amends himself. “Ah, yes. My apologies. Your assistant. Also,” he hands Vladimir the forms, “your paperwork has been far from stellar in the past so you can imagine how this may look. A sudden change in relationship status. You received news of your deportation.” 

The more he spoke the more tense Matt grew and the younger man forced himself not to start shaking in spot.

“Now,” Wesley continues, “I am willing to work with you and be as understanding as possible with you two. Just be glad that it isn’t my friend Luke. He has an amazing track record with throwing illegal immigrants out of the country. By hand.”

As he spoke, the sound of shouting was heard and Vladimir saw from the corner of his eye a large man carrying another man as if he weighed nothing. The man being carried was kicking and screaming and looked absolutely terrified, while the dark man carrying him seemed just mildly annoyed.

Matt leaned closer to Vladimir to breathe out, “What’s going on? Why is there screaming?”

The Russian just shook his head and whispered back equally as quietly, “I do not think you want to know.”

There was a crashing sound and more screams of terror and Matt made a face before whispering, “I bet I know a girl who would make the perfect girlfriend for him.”

Vladimir narrowed his eyes and breathed back just as silently, the screams outside helping to cover their mutters, “Now is really not time to be setting people up when they can physically throw me out of the country."

Wesley leans forward in his seat, hands clasped on his desk. “So,” he said simply, drawing their attention back to him, “is there anything you two would like to tell me? Vladimir?” 

The Russian just rolls his eyes and stares back in determination at the dark haired man. “Matvey and I are just two professional men that were not meant to fall in love and accidentally did. I was unaware that that was illegal here in this country.” He gave a challenging glare to Wesley, just daring him to try and tell him he was wrong.

Matt couldn’t help but to be impressed with his boss being so at ease with the whole situation.

The dark haired man just hums and turns his attention to Matt. “Matt? Anything you would like to say?” Wesley frowns as Matt just slowly shakes his head. “Mister Murdock, let me be frank with you. If you are indeed committing a felony then you will face a stay of a minimum five years in prison accompanied by a fine of two hundred and fifty thousand dollars! So if your story is any different than Vladimir’s,” Wesley completely ignored the appalled gasp that Vladimir let out along with his indignant expression, “or if there is anything you would like to say, now would be the time. Because I can promise you now, if you come clean at this very moment I will grant you amnesty from this whole situation. So, Matt, would you like to talk to me? Yes?”

Matt slowly nodded his head and Vladimir turned sharply to look at him with an expression of pure fear and a promise of death if Matt said anything that went against his previous story. The blind man could practically feel the other two men staring, glaring in Vladimir’s case, at him and he vaguely wondered to himself why it was so hot in this office. Couldn’t Wesley turn the air on because surely everyone else was hot too.

Slowly, Matt shook his head. He could almost feel Vladimir’s relief along with Wesley’s deep frown. 

“No?”

Matt continues to slowly shake his head for a few moments more but is then nodding once more.

“Yes?”

Vladimir was once again looking at Matt with fear shining in his eyes as Matt slowly nodded.

But suddenly Matt had a thought. Vladimir wasn’t worth going to jail for or paying such a huge fine for. No one was if he was quite honest with himself. And if they pulled this off, nothing would ever change. He would still be working as Vladimir’s assistant, doing coffee runs and scheduling appointments and being yelled at every day. Unless… He did a pretty good job of hiding his smirk. 

Matt, instead of laughing just let out a defeated sigh, shoulders slumping and head falling so that he was almost looking down, giving the illusion that he was about to come clean and tell everything that had happened. “Actually, Mister Wesley, I do. You see, Vladimir and I… We started dating about six months ago.”

Wesley raised an eyebrow as he listened to Matt speak. A glance over to Vladimir and his eyes narrowed. The Russian was looking at Matt with a shocked expression, mouth open slightly.

But Matt continued speaking. “You see, what with him being my boss and my promotion coming up-”

“Promotion?” Wesley interrupted in confusion.

Vladimir raised an eyebrow at Matt but then quickly nodded in agreement. “Da. I was promoting him to editor soon.” He says it simply but it still comes out sounding like a question.

“-we, Vladimir and I, thought it would be better if we waited until after. That way it wouldn’t seem like I was sleeping with him to get a better job, you know?” Matt shrugged and gave another defeated sigh. “I made Vladimir’s appointments for him to do his paperwork on time but I guess he ignored those and so of course  _ now _ it seems like we’re making this up.” He gave a glare to the Russian that Vladimir didn’t really see due to his glasses hiding his eyes. But then he tilted his head slightly and gave a small dopey grin. “And he’s right. We’re two people who just weren’t supposed to fall in love and we did and I just want to make it legal. Him being forced to leave the country just because he was an  _ idiot _ with his paperwork just breaks my heart. So I can assure you; this is very much real.”

The auburn haired man moved so that he was sitting closer to Vladimir's seat and he reached his hand out until his fingertips were grazing Vladimir’s knee. The Russian quickly moved his hand to twine his fingers with Matt’s and he gave his own dopey grin back to his assistant.

Wesley nodded as he took in the obvious lies. “So no one knows that you’re getting married? No family or friends?”

Vladimir turned to give a bright grin to the man. “Nyet! My family is dead and I have no friends! Except for Matvey!” He adds the last bit as an afterthought and holds up his and Matt’s hands as if that were proof enough that he wasn’t lying.

The dark haired man scoffed. “How convenient. I’m sure I have enough proof right now to send you to prison and you back to Russia.”

“We are telling Matvey’s family this weekend!” Vladimir yells almost desperately, wracking his brain for an excuse on why they would be going to visit Matt’s family that weekend. While Matt did his best to hide his surprise at the sudden yell from the Russian. “It’s his uh, Nana’s? Da, Nana’s birthday! Whole family is getting together so we thought it best to tell them all at once. Right dorogoi?” 

Slowly Matt gave a nod, careful to keep his shock well hidden and a dopey grin on his face.

“And where, pray tell, is Matt’s family?” Wesley asks, smirk gracing his lips as he thought that he surely had them cornered now. 

“Sitka,” Matt states before Vladimir can try and stutter out an answer.

Vladimir nods too quickly in agreement. “Da, Sitka-” 

“Alaska.” 

“Alaska-aaah?” The Russian trails off, eyes wide as he stares at Matt but then he’s quickly calming himself and giving a sure grin to Wesley. “Alaska.” 

Wesley narrowed his eyes as he looked between the two men.  “Alright then, let me tell you how this will go,” he leaned forward once more, “I am going to have you two in separate rooms, ask you both multiple questions that anyone in a relationship would be able to answer with ease. And if you get even one question wrong, you,” he points to Matt, “will have committed a felony while you,” he points to Vladimir, “will be deported. Indefinitely. I’m setting the appointment for five days from now, Tuesday morning, eight o’clock. Not a minute later,” he said as he jot down information onto a post it notepad, “This binder holds all of the questions that will be asked,” he hands Vladimir the binder with the sticky note attached, “So, I suppose you two should begin memorizing every question and answer. Don’t forget to cross your t’s and dot your i’s.”

While Vladimir gave a smug grin to the man, Matt shot out of his seat and tensely made his way to the door not even bothering to wait for his boss. Who was giving a snippy, “There are no t’s and i’s in love! We already know everything about each other!” And then the blonde was following further behind Matt out of the building at a much more leisurely pace, once again staring at his phone. 

“Not so bad, da?” Vladimir almost chirps out as he reads through the dozens of emails he received while in the meeting. He deletes a few and makes a mental note to read through the rest later. Maybe once they’re back in the office and he has Matt go run and get him coffee.

Matt on the other hand, is not nearly as calm as Vladimir is, and gives an exasperated look in Vladimir’s general direction. “Are you kidding me?” He almost hissed out.

“Chto?” 

The auburn haired man twitches as he hears Vladimir tapping at the screen, the phone giving that annoying sound it does when Vladimir is typing on his phone because he doesn’t want to change his damn settings. He moves faster than either man expected and snatches the phone away. “I’m sorry, but did you not just hear what was going to happen? Were you even in that office?”

Vladimir raised an eyebrow but then a look of understanding came across his features. “Oh! Oh, the promotion! Was very good lie. I think he believed us.” He gave Matt’s shoulder a pat, putting just a bit too much force behind it but was surprised when Matt kept his ground.

Matt scoffed and shook his head, Vladimir’s phone still clasped tightly in his hand. “One, no he doesn’t. Two, it wasn’t a lie. If I’m risking federal prison time, my freedom and my life, and a huge fine that costs more than my shitty apartment, then you’re promoting me.”

“Promote you?” Vladimir splutters out, eyes wide in surprise. He lets out a harsh laugh and glares down at Matt. “Promote  _ you _ to  _ editor _ ? Nyet. Not happening.” The blonde scowled as Matt seemed to notice him reaching for his phone and held it further away. “Matvey, dorogoi,” he almost sang out in a sickeningly sweet tone before falling back into his usual gruffness, “give me my phone back.”

The glare that Matt was giving right back almost made Vladimir stop and actually listen to his assistant for once. But he was nothing if not stubborn and wasn’t going to give up that easily.

“Then I won’t do it. I quit. Working for you,” he shoves the phone against Vladimir’s chest, “has just been the greatest little slice of heaven. Enjoy Moscow. Be sure to write me about the weather.” He turns sharply and begins to tap his cane against the sidewalk as he walks away from the gaping Russian.

It took less than a second before Vladimir was grabbing ahold of his arm and jerking him back, expression full of terror that Matt might actually leave him right now. “Wait! Okay! Fine, Matthew! I will promote,” he chokes the word out, “you to editor.” Matt turns and gives a small smirk. “If- only if- you do the Alaska weekend and the immigration interview. I will promote you to editor.” His tone is completely defeated and he’s thankful momentarily that Matt can’t see the way his shoulders have slumped slightly before he’s forcing himself to stand tall again.

While Matt couldn’t see the look of pure fear and pleading on Vladimir’s face he could very clearly hear it dripping from the Russian accented voice. And while Vladimir wasn’t the best of people, Matt just wasn’t the type of person to leave someone in need. 

So with a heavy sigh and a roll of the eyes Matt gave a small nod. “But I have some conditions.”

“Name them.”

“If we’re going to be lying to my whole family this weekend then we’re doing it my way. I tell them about the engagement when and how I want.”

Vladimir wrinkled his nose but nodded in agreement. “Fine.”

“Second, you’re going to make me editor soon. Not a year. Six months or less. Preferably less but I can work with six months.”

The Russian scowled at the reminder that he was soon going to be promoting Matt. A lot a sooner than he actually wanted to. But he spit out, “Fine.”

“And you will be publishing my manuscript.” Matt raised an eyebrow when Vladimir didn’t say anything. “I’m waiting.”

“Ten thousand copies,” Vladimir groaned out. He narrowed his eyes as Matt shook his head.

“No dice. Twenty thousand.”

Vladimir had to restrain himself from throwing the binder and its contents into traffic. Along with his smug looking assistant. “Fine! Twenty thousand fucking copies, first run. Anything else?”

“Yes actually.” Matt’s smirk was very smug as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re going to ask me nicely.”

Vladimir frowned and leaned closer to Matt to hiss out, “What? What the fuck does that even mean?”

Matt just continued smirking. “Oh you know exactly what it means. Ask me nicely to marry you, sweetheart,” he adds with a wicked gleam in his eyes, smirk still set in place on his smug face. The term of endearment said sarcastically. It made Vladimir almost want to stomp back into the office and come clean himself, if only to watch the smugness fall from his assistant’s face. 

Instead he bursts out laughing, shaking his head. “What? You want me on my knee?” Matt just gave a simple nod. “No. I say in English so you understand me. No, not happening.”

The auburn haired man just shrugged. “Then I quit and you’re on your own. Enjoy Russia. Bye bye!” He didn’t even get to fully turn before Vladimir was gripping his shoulders tightly, fingers digging into his skin almost painfully. He carefully masked his discomfort with a smug smirk. “Hm?”

“Fine!” There was a shuffling noise as Vladimir carefully dropped to his knee, looking around as if he expected for someone to start pointing and taking pictures of them. But no one did, too worried about their own lives to even give them a second glance. “This working for you? Hm?”

His assistant reached a hand out and grinned as his fingers brushed against Vladimir’s shoulder. “Oh yes, I’m sure you look lovely on your knees boss.”

The look that Vladimir shot up to him was one that promised a slow, torturous death. But he sucked up his pride and spat out, “Marry me?”

Matt just burst out laughing. “Oh come on! That was just sad and pathetic! You can do better than that!” He said patronizingly.

Vladimir just scowled. “Do I need a ring too? I can get a damn ring, mudak!”

Now Matt looked even more amused as he shook his head. “Nah, I’ll worry about rings. You worry about asking me nicely.” Vladimir just muttered darkly under his breath, glaring venomously as Matt threw his head back, laughing loudly. “Come on,” Matt sang out, “you can do it babe! Make it convincing now!”

“ _ You want convincing, I’ll give you convincing, you little shit! _ ” Vladimir spat out in his native tongue.

Matt just tsked and shook his head. “In English.”

The Russian snatched Matt’s cane from him and placed it on the ground then took both of Matt’s hands in his own, holding them gently and rubbing soothing circles onto his hands. “Matthew, Matvey,” Matt raised an eyebrow in confusion, “Motka, dorogoi, would you please with a cherry on top do me the greatest honor of making me the happiest man on earth and marrying me?”

It wasn’t said lovingly, but it was said sincerely albeit a tad sarcastically. And Vladimir was giving Matt a very serious look, no love but all pure emotion, and if it hadn’t been such a ridiculous situation Matt honestly would have found himself very choked up. As it was, his ears had turned a light pink and his heart had skipped because he had never heard Vladimir sound so sincere before in the past three years that he’d been working for the Russian.

But instead of letting his boss see how his words had affected him, Matt squared his jaw and made a soft humming noise. “Well,” he slowly drawled out, “I’ll ignore the sarcasm and I’ll marry you. Hand me my cane please, thank you. And I’m going to go home and get our flight changed from coach to first class while you go shopping.”

“Shopping for what?” Vladimir asked, still on his knee and scowling up at his assistant. 

Matt just raised an eyebrow. “Honestly, I’m almost one hundred percent positive that all you own are overly priced suits. You need normal clothes for the trip. That means jeans, t-shirts, that stuff. Normal clothes. So, while you’re shopping I’m going to go finish packing and such. Be at the airport bright and early tomorrow sweetheart,” Matt waved, smirking as he heard Vladimir fall forward slightly. He had obviously thought that Matt was reaching his hand out to help him up, not give a small wave goodbye.

Vladimir just gave low mutters of, “Worst fucking idea. Can’t believe this is happening,” as he called in work to say that he and Matt needed the rest of the day off so they could finish packing for their trip.

~oOo~

Matt is almost surprised, almost but not quite, when Foggy barges into his apartment later that night with a yell of, “Okay since when were you and Comrade Douche Canoe dating, Matthew?!”

The auburn haired man just scoffed and continued to tap away at his computer, one earbud in his ear. “It’s a long story.”

Foggy just made a huffing noise and shut the door so could move to sit across from Matt at the coffee table. “Well,” he dropped his bags, “we’ve got time. I thought we were best friends and you never told me you were sleeping with our boss! You hate him!”

Matt frowned. “Well, you’re not wrong. He was about to be deported-”

“And that’s bad?”

“So he panicked and now we’re engaged. Would you like me to order in pizza?” Matt asked, reaching for his cellphone.

“No! Ma-”

“Thai then?” He doesn’t wait for Foggy to interrupt him, he just calls and places an order for two orders of Pad Thai along with some spring rolls and tom ka gai soup. 

The blonde groans but waits patiently for Matt to finish the order before he’s back to yelling. “So what, you two are faking?!” When Matt doesn’t say anything, just shrugs, Foggy groans and covers his face. “Oh my god-”

“Seriously? Language.”

“-you are. You’re fake engaged and you’re breaking the law and what were you thinking?” Foggy asked giving Matt the look of pure disapproval.

Matt shrugged. “I panicked?” He takes a deep breath and quickly gives a rundown of what had happened all day, only pausing his story as they went to pick up their food. “And so now I’m having to take him with us to meet the family tomorrow.”

Foggy nodded slowly but then shook his head in exasperation. “Matty, this is probably the worst thing that could possibly happen. Have you even called mom to tell her you’re bringing your new fake fiancé?”

Matt shuffled in spot, stirring his soup as a means to distract himself from Foggy’s question. Slowly he was let out a sigh and shook his head. “Not yet.” 

“Want me to?”

“No! We aren’t telling them over the phone!”

Foggy just groaned out, “Mom is going to kill me when she finds out I knew you were engaged and didn’t tell her. And you’re going to need rings! Mom and Nana Nelson will be so mad if you both come home without engagement rings!”

“I’ve got rings,” Matt muttered before taking a bite of his pad thai. “They’re in my room actually. May need to be polished up a bit. Maybe resized. But, I think they’ll suffice for the trip.”

The blonde frowned as he realized which rings Matt was talking about. “Your dad and mom’s?” 

Matt just gave a wry smile back. “They’ll work for now.”

~oOo~

Vladimir flipped the switch next to the front door and frowned as the empty apartment living room was illuminated. He set the few bags of clothes onto the couch, briefcase falling to the floor with a thump noise. It was the only noise in the whole apartment and Vladimir couldn’t help but to feel lonely. Even more so when he caught sight of an older picture of his family on the bookshelf.

He stares at the picture and shakes his head. It was a family portrait with his parents standing behind their two sons, the eldest was fifteen in the picture and grinning as he held the grinning six year old in his lap.

When he closes his eyes he can almost imagine his brother shaking his head in amusement, a look of worry painting his features. He always did worry too much about his younger brother. 

“ _ Vova, just come back home. Why stay here? What's wrong with Moscow? _ ” He could here Anatoly’s voice saying in their native language from beside him.

Vladimir shook his head, a small hint of a smile on his lips. “Nyet. I have good plan!” He breathes out, accent thicker than usual.

He hears Anatoly laugh dryly, can imagine him crossing his arms and shaking his head. “ _ Do I even want to know? _ ”

“I’m getting married!” He says back, giving a proud grin and almost laughing as he imagined his brother’s loud laughter.

“ _ Good thing I was not eating or drinking anything! I would have choked! _ ”

Vladimir almost laughs back but instead gives a sigh of, “My assistant is a little shit. The devil in disguise as an angel, the fucker.”

He imagines Anatoly laughing again. “ _ I wish you’d come home. Back to Russia _ .”

“But you and Mama and Papa aren’t there, Tolik,” Vladimir says softly before he’s opening his eyes. The bright light in the apartment shows that he’s still alone and his brother still isn’t there. His family has been dead for almost ten years now and as he stares at the family portrait once more, Wilson Fisk’s words echo in his mind.

_ “At the end of the day I have a wife to go home to and you have no one! You will never have anyone!” _


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written almost 40 pages total for this fanfic so far. What even.

Come morning, Vladimir is aching from sleeping on the couch, blanket twisted around his legs and pillow on the floor. He had been unable to sleep in his room and thus had decided for the living room in hopes that watching tv would help him fall asleep. It had worked but not for a few hours and now it was eight in the morning and he was running a bit later than he wanted to. So with a thought of, ‘L _ ike hell I am letting that smug little shit beat me to the airport! _ ’ he was running to get ready for the flight to Alaska.

So when he finally managed to make it to the airport less than five minutes before Matt, he was very surprised to see Foggy as well. Blue eyes narrowed as he stared both his assistant and other employee down and he gained a fraction of joy seeing Foggy move to hide behind Matt a bit. “What is he doing here?”

Matt just scoffed. “Good morning to you too, sweetheart.” The auburn haired man ignored the question in favor of drinking from his Starbucks coffee cup, hiding his smirk as he took a sip of the coffee that he actually enjoyed and so rarely got to drink.

“Where is mine?” Vladimir asked indignantly, eyeing the cups that both younger men held. Foggy just ducked his head down in an attempt to hide his own growing amusement.

Matt tsked and took another small sip from his coffee. “Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you’d want some too, honey.” The endearments are said far too sickeningly sweet and far too sarcastically for Vladimir to be dealing with this early. And Matt was far, far too amused by his boss’s annoyance.

“Why is he here?” Vladimir ground out, turning his gaze from the coffee back to Foggy and glaring coldly. This time though, the other blonde just grinned. It made the Russian even more annoyed and he could tell that he just needed to go back home and back to sleep.

“We’re going to visit the family,” Matt said simply, taking another loud sip of his coffee as they moved through the airport. He said it as if that were answer enough, but really, it only raised more questions for the Russian.

Vladimir frowned in confusion. “I thought we were visiting your family?” He said as he toed his shoes off and emptied his pockets, copying Matt and Foggy, who had to throw the last of their coffees away just minutes previously. Foggy gave him an amused grin as they slipped their shoes back on but otherwise didn’t say anything.

“We are,” Matt said simply, as if they were discussing the weather. He picked up his duffel bag and slipped his wallet back into his pocket, Foggy and Vladimir doing the same. “I’m adopted. Foggy’s family adopted me.”

“Huh?” Was all Vladimir could stutter out, mouth open in surprise once more.

Foggy laughed at the surprised look on Vladimir’s face and clapped him on the shoulder. “Welcome to the family new brother in law! When’s the wedding and divorce?”

For a moment Vladimir couldn’t say anything, mouth hanging open in shock, which made Foggy laugh harder and nudge Matt. “I think we broke our boss!” Which made Matt just hum in amusement and smirk.

Vladimir quickly shook the shock away and narrowed his eyes. “He knows?!” He hissed out quietly as he once again began following after his employees.

Matt just grinned, cane held loosely in one hand while his other held onto Foggy’s offered arm. “I had to tell him. He was going to find out anyway. And he’s not telling the family so don’t worry,” Matt said simply, attempting to wave away Vladimir’s worry. “Just relax, boss,” he says as soothingly as he could. His tone loses its soothing effect though as soon as Vladimir spots Matt’s ever growing smirk.

The Russian narrowed his eyes and didn’t say anything for a few moments. It wasn’t until they were boarding the plane and he was shoving his bag away that he even spoke again. “You never said you were adopted.”

“How could I have?  _ When _ could I have? We’ve been talking about you for the past three years.” Vladimir leaned back slightly at the words. They weren’t said meanly, just stated as a fact, but it still stung. Matt continued speaking, seemingly not noticing Vladimir’s sudden discomfort. “You sit next to me, Foggy is behind us. We’re going to go over these questions and answers,” the American said, pushing at Vladimir’s shoulder to make the Russian move and sit down next to the window.

Despite what Matt wanted, the first two hours of the flight he and Vladimir sat in complete uncomfortable silence while Foggy fell into a light sleep in the seat behind Matt.

“Look,” Matt whispered as his fingers ran over a page from the binder which he had been mildly surprised actually had braille pages in it, “we’ve got to actually talk to each other if we’re going to pull this off, okay? Believe me, I want to do this even less than you do.”

Vladimir just snorted and continued to stare out of the window. He honestly found that hard to believe considering it was his life that was really at jeopardy. He forgot for a moment that Matt was risking federal prison time and a hefty fine for this.

Matt frowned but quickly set his jaw and glared at Vladimir, careful not to let his leg brush against Vladimir’s. “You’re going to be royally fucked,” Vladimir raised an eyebrow at his assistant. It wasn’t often that he heard Matt like this. He could actually probably count on one hand the amount of times he’d actually heard Matt swear. “-for this interview if you don’t talk to me.”

The Russian just let an undignified snort again. “I am not. This interview will be easy.”

Matt just shakes his head. “The good news is, I know everything about you. Bad news, you know next to nothing about me and these questions go both ways.” He ran his fingers over a line and frowned. “What’s my favorite color?”

Vladimir raises an eyebrow. “You have a favorite color?” He asks skeptically. “You’re blind.”

The auburn haired American gave him a look of pure shock and for a moment Vladimir worried that he’d actually really upset him. But before he could sigh out an apology Matt was breathing out, “No way! Is that why all I see is darkness?!” When Vladimir didn’t say anything, just stared in surprise at him, Matt shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Red. My favorite color is red, jackass.”

“You cannot call me a jackass, mudak! I am still your boss!” Vladimir snapped back, eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Give me that,” he grumbled, snatching the binder from Matt and reading over the questions. “That is ridiculous. There is no way that you know all of this about me. It is impossible to know this much about a single person.” He frowns as he says this. He hadn’t even known this much about his brother.

Matt raised an eyebrow and leaned back comfortably into his seat. “I hate to break it to you, Vlad, bu-”

“Do not call me that. My name is Vladimir, you little shit,” the Russian interrupted as his eyes continued skimming down the page.

The American just rolled his eyes again. “Whatever. But normal people actually interact with each other. They form relationships where they actually learn about each other and get to know one another. It’s a nice thing actually. Friendship bonding instead of slave driver to servant. Amazing, isn’t it?”

Vladimir just let out another huff and continued to read through the questions.

“I mean honestly,” Matt muttered, “what do you even do in your free time when you’re not at work? Feast on kittens?” The Russian just raised an eyebrow. “Kick puppies?” Vladimir rolled his eyes. “Ride a broom around New York?”

“You are so fucking hilarious,” Vladimir said in a completely deadpan tone, flipping to the next page in the binder.

Matt waved his hand dismissively. “I’m running out of options here. Give me something. Do you sacrifice children to Satan? It’s okay if you do. I won’t judge. Okay, that’s a lie, I will judge.”

“I am about to sacrifice you to Satan if you don’t shut up,” Vladimir snapped, eye twitching just slightly. He didn’t even turn to see the amused grin that he was sure his assistant was giving him. “Ah! Here is question, if you know everything about me, what am I allergic to?”

“Other than the full spectrum of human emotion, nothing,” Matt answered without even pausing. 

Vladimir shot him a scowl. “Oh, you are just so fucking funny! Downright hilarious.”

Matt smirked. “I think so. Also, you don’t like whipped cream. At all. It’s weird. You also have to be in the mood for cheese, which again, is weird, so I can’t help but wonder if maybe you’re lactose intolerant?”

Vladimir hums but doesn’t answer back, just skims down the page again before saying, “Do I have any noticeable scars or notable markings on my body?”

“You have a tattoo,” Matt answers back with ease, again without even pausing.

“How do you even know that?!” The Russian hissed out, accent thick in equal parts surprise and aggravation. How could Matt have known this much about him? It’s not like he really spoke that much about himself.

“I was actually unsure because a year and a half ago your dermatologist called about a Q-switched laser. Of course I had to google what that was,” Matt ignored the scoff from Vladimir and continued, “and found out that they remove tattoos. But I think you had cancelled the appointment, so I don’t know what that was about. So, what is it? Where is it?”

“Am not telling you,” Vladimir said simply, flipping the page.

Matt frowned. “Well you’re going to have to in case they ask. Or I can guess.” When Vladimir said nothing Matt nodded. “Guessing it is. Japanese calligraphy? Oh! I know! Barbed wire! No? Is it a tramp stamp? Please tell me it’s a tramp stamp.” The auburn haired man smirked.

Vladimir rolled his eyes. “We are done with that question.”

“But-”

“Forever.” When Matt just gave a childish pout, still smirking at Vladimir’s unease, the Russian gave a dry statement of, “It is so interesting to experience you like this.”

The auburn haired man just shrugged and re-situated himself to get more comfortable. “You should probably start getting to know me, by the way.”

“I know enough about you,” Vladimir snapped back, eyes still reading over the questions quickly. At Matt’s curious gaze the Russian stated simply, “You’re an annoying little shit and I do not know how I never realized.”

Matt just cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow, unable to keep his amusement from showing. 

“Fine. Any hopes and dreams?” Came the annoyed, Russian accented question.

“Hm…” Matt trailed off, crossing his arms as he thought the question over. “Well,” he begins slowly, “I hope you fall out of the plane honestly. And I usually dream about you getting hit by a car.”

For a few moments Vladimir is stunned into silence. And then he is slamming the binder shut and pushing it into Matt’s chest. “Find new hopes and dreams.”

The younger man held the binder, smirk never leaving his face. “It’s usually a cab.”

“Chto?”

“The car,” Matt clarifies. “It’s usually a cab.”

The Russian just rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest as he turns to glare out of the window once more. “How much longer until we are landing?” Vladimir turned to watch his assistant check his watch.

“About four or so hours. It’s a seven hour flight.”

Vladimir just groaned loudly and tilted his head back, sending a quick prayer for something to save him from the next four hours of what he was sure would be Matt’s non stop talking. Sure enough, Matt didn’t disappoint but handed the binder back to the annoyed Russian with a dry, “Come on. We have to know the answers to these.”

The binder is shoved back into Matt’s lap and the auburn haired man can’t hide his annoyance but decides to flip to the back of it and run his fingers over a random question.

“Who’s place do we stay at?”

It honestly shocks him when Vladimir answers without pause or a scoff. “Easy. Mine.”

Matt lets out an amused hum. “And what’s wrong with my place? I have a nice place. I decorate it so amazingly,” he says sarcastically, laughing at himself like he's made another great joke.

Vladimir doesn’t laugh or even seem remotely amused. “My place is nice. Yours is shit I’m sure. I know how much you make, remember?”

“Wow. Rude,” Matt retorts back dryly, very unamused with his boss. Probably more unamused with Vladimir than Vladimir is of him honestly.

“Family living in Alaska, I am sure that your family also lives in shit hole,” Vladimir ignores the absolutely venomous glare that Matt is giving him and continues speaking clearly, “Hence why I am staying in a hotel. I was very surprised there are even hotels in Alaska.”

Matt felt his eye twitch the longer his boss spoke. He waited until Vladimir was finished talking then nodded. “Yeah, me too. That’s new. Usually igloos are just rented out.”

“ _ You are such an annoying little shit. _ Anymore questions? Or are we done now?” Vladimir snapped out, completely finished with Matt for the day. He snatches the binder back with a grumble under his breath in Russian that just makes Matt roll his eyes as he didn’t understand the foreign words. While the blonde just didn’t know how he was going to deal with his assistant for four more days. Four more days of having to act like they were an actual, real couple.

As he flips through the binder Foggy lets out a loud snore from behind them which makes Matt let out an amused laugh and make a gesture towards the blonde. “He always falls asleep on planes.”

A glance back and Vladimir huffs. “Wish you would fall asleep, mudak.”

“Unlikely to happen. I get motion sickness very easily and plane rides are some of the worst,” Matt states simply.

For the first time in the whole three hours they’ve been sitting next to each other, Vladimir notices how tense and uncomfortable his assistant is. Matt is sitting rigidly, hands gripping his cane tightly then propping it back against his seat all the while he is constantly shifting in his seat.

The Russian wills his concern away and instead rolls his eyes once more before forcing his gaze back to the binder. 

It’s just five more minutes before Matt is sighing and moving in his seat once more and when Vladimir turns to snap at his assistant he stops short when he sees two silver rings in Matt’s palm. Instead he points to the rings and, “What the fuck are those?”

Matt just smirked up at him. “Rings. I told you I would worry about them, didn’t I? Now give me your left hand.” He takes the offered hand and slips his dad’s ring onto Vladimir’s ring finger with the heart facing towards him and quickly, so quickly that Vladimir almost thinks he just imagined it, runs his finger over the rings surface. Matt clears his throat and pushes his emotions away before giving a small smirk to Vladimir. “Well, I’m glad to know that actually fits.”

The blonde looks at the identical ring that Matt has slid onto his own finger, the heart facing outwards away from his body, an exact replica of how the one on Vladimir’s finger rested. “Shitty rings,” Vladimir scoffs out even as he traces over the ring on his finger in curiosity.

The look that Matt shoots him can only be described as pure murderous, promising a slow end if Vladimir insults the rings. But the blonde doesn’t notice, just turns to stare out of the window once more, still tracing over the ring on his finger. They fall into a tense silence and Vladimir even begins to doze off before he’s soon jerked awake by an announcement.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts as we are beginning our descent into Juneau.”

“Juneau?” Vladimir questions, eyebrow raised as he watches his assistant smack Foggy awake. “Why are we landing in Juneau? What happened to Sitka?” The Russian asked, accent growing thicker as his curiosity grew.

“Juneau first, then Sitka. We’ll be arriving before you know it,” Matt said comfortingly, though he was still upset with the Russian, as he buckled his seatbelt.

The flight from Juneau to Sitka was worse than anything Vladimir had ever had to deal with. It felt more like a bus ride than a flight and what made it worse was that Matt was almost green and Vladimir was concerned that the smaller man was about to empty his stomach onto the floor along with Vladimir’s expensive shoes.

Right as it seemed that Matt was indeed about to empty his stomach, the plane was landing and a lady’s voice was informing the passengers that they could begin unboarding from the tiny death trap in disguise as a plane. It was as they were grabbing their bags that Foggy glanced out of the window and let out a whine.

Matt turned to give a concerned look at his best friend. “You okay, Fog?”

“Yeah,” came the slightly high pitched answer. Foggy coughed to clear his throat. “It’s just… You know how you told me not to tell, Mom…”

“Yeah?” Matt asked, brows furrowed. When Foggy didn’t say anything but gave out another whine, Matt cocked his head slightly and his face went a few shades paler. “Foggy, you didn’t.”

“She called last night! You were asleep! I panicked and said you were bringing your new boyfriend too!” Foggy whisper yelled, completely ignoring the absolutely terrifying glare that Vladimir was giving him, instead choosing to focus on the appalled look on Matt’s face.

Matt groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay. This is okay. This will all be- we’re doomed. What are they doing?”

Both blonde men turned to glance out of the window and Vladimir lets out a curse in Russian at what he sees. “They’re holding up a banner that says ‘Welcome Home Foggy and Matt and Matt’s New Beau’,” Foggy said, biting his lip to keep from laughing as a few people stared at the sign, some rolling their eyes while others scoffed before walking away.

“Oh great,” Matt says dryly before turning to where he knows Vladimir is. “Time to play happy boyfriend. Carry my bag.” With that said, the blind man pushes his bright red duffel bag into Vladimir’s arms.

“Excuse you?” The Russian splutters out, eyes wide in surprise as he stares between the bag and Matt as they inch closer and closer to exiting the plane.

“Carry my bag,” Matt says slowly, enunciating each word to make sure that Vladimir understands him.

The Russian just shoots him a scowl but begins to hold the red bag, tossing the strap over him. “And why don’t you carry mine?”

“Because I always carry your stuff, boss,” comes the simple response that has Vladimir rolling his eyes.

They move forward some more and all three break out into a light sweat the closer they are to reaching the exit and facing the family. 

“Not true,” Vladimir says, glancing out of a window as they move.

Both younger men scoff. “Ha! Hilarious. Yes I do,” Matt says dryly. “One more thing. Hold my hand,” he states right before they’re stepping into the Alaskan sun.

“Chto? Nyet. I am not holding your hand,” Vladimir hisses back with a cold glare. “Bag, I will carry. Your hand, I will not.”

Matt just sighed and had to stop himself from letting out a scream. “This is why this won’t work. You want to stay here? Then you have to hold my hand and act like you actually want to be with me!”

The Russian glared down at him for a moment as they followed Foggy, who was leading them to the small family, and finally after a moment grabbed Matt’s hand far too tightly. Now whether it was from annoyance at the younger man or worry, neither man knew. And when Matt squeezed back, neither knew if it was because he was as annoyed as Vladimir was at him or if it was from worry at facing his family.

“There they are! Boys! Foggy! Matty!” A grinning woman calls out, arms waving around to get their attention.

Foggy and Matt both grin widely and Foggy leads Matt, who is squeezing Vladimir’s free hand just as tightly as the Russian is squeezing his, over to the small group of three. But as they move closer Vladimir lets Matt’s hand slip from his. Matt doesn’t even seem to notice as all he can really focus on is that he’s being enveloped into a tight hug by Anna Nelson then passed to Edward Nelson who hugs him almost as tightly as his wife just had until finally he’s passed to Nana Nelson, Grace Nelson. All the while Vladimir stands behind, feeling far too awkward and out of place.

“Where is he?” Anna laughs out, still hugging Foggy borderline too tightly. “Franklin here didn’t tell us much about your boyfriend, Matthew. How could you keep such a surprise from us, young man?”

Edward just laughs and gives his son a tight hug. “Anna, they’ve just stepped off the plane, let them breathe honey!”

“For God’s sake!” Grace laughs out, shaking her head as she watches her son and daughter in law. Vladimir glances down at her and feels as though she’s the type of person who, because she’s lived so long, won’t take any shit from anyone. “One hell of an impression you two are making on Matt’s fiancé.”

Matt feels as though someone has just poured water onto him. “Uh…” He quickly puts on a sheepish grin. “How’d you guys know? We were going to tell you all this weekend. It was supposed to be a surprise.”

Anna let out a happy laugh. “Well, we called you two last night and a mother can always tell when her child is keeping a secret, so it didn’t take much before Foggy was coming clean and saying how you had a secret boyfriend you were bringing home to meet all of us! And then that gentleman from the government calls and says you two are engaged!”

Vladimir felt as though ice coursed through his veins and he broke into a cold nervous sweat. Unbeknownst to him, Matt was feeling much the same way.

“Government guy?” Matt asked, brows furrowed in worry.

Anna waved her hand dismissively. “Oh some man. James Wesley or something and another. He said he was just calling in to check on you two for technicality reasons. Because Vladimir is from Russia.” 

Matt schooled his features rather well, something that Vladimir made a mental note to possibly thank him for, and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “What ah, what exactly did you tell him?”

“Other than that you are in a world of trouble for not telling us, young man? Nothing really. Only that of course we knew about who Vladimir was, you’ve talked about him for years.” Anna seemed to not notice how Matt was suddenly tensing as his ears burned pink and Vladimir was staring at him with an amused smirk. But finally the woman is turning to the tall Russian who has slowly moved to be almost right behind Matt and she gives him a warm grin. “I will admit, with the way that our Matty talks about you none of us saw this coming! But oh we’re just so happy that he’s happy! Now come here!”

Vladimir isn’t sure what to expect but to be tugged down into a tight hug is definitely not it. He can’t help but tense and feel very out of place as he awkwardly pats the woman lightly on the back.

She let go of him and gave Matt a disapproving look, which goes completely unnoticed by her adopted son. “Well,” she began, placing her hands on her hips, “aren’t you going to introduce us all?”

Foggy let out an amused laugh, shaking his head at his mother’s antics. “She’s giving you the full on mother disapproval glare right now, Matty. Hands on her hips and eyes just saying ‘young man, you’re in so much trouble’.”

Anna’s eyes glimmered in amusement while Matt just rolled his eyes at his friend. Vladimir had to stop himself from snapping at the blonde that none of this was amusing. He looked down at his assistant in surprise when he felt Matt slowly loop his arm through Vladimir’s.

“Vladimir, I would like for you to meet my family, Edward and Anna Nelson and Nana Nelson. Everyone, this is my fiancé, Vladimir.” Matt can’t help but feel proud about how his voice doesn’t waver under the lies and that he’s able to keep a dopey love struck expression painted onto his face.

As Matt introduced each member of his family, they all grinned and looked as though they were going to pull Vladimir into one of their family hugs. Vladimir gave a curt nod back and it seemed to keep them back. He ignored as their smiles wavered slightly.

After what could only be described as an awkward silence Nana Nelson just narrowed her eyes as she took in his tense form before forcing a grin and saying curtly, “Now, do you prefer Vladimir or Satan’s Mistress?”

Instantly Matt’s jaw dropped, along with his arm from Vladimir’s, and he turned so he could face the seething Russian. “I never called you that,” Matt said, holding his hands up in an ‘I surrender’ way. Vladimir just scoffed. “I didn’t.”

Foggy burst out laughing. “Whoops, sorry. That was me. I called you that one,” he said through his laughter, following his parents and Nana to the car. He completely ignored the glare that Vladimir was giving him.

Matt and Vladimir trailed behind the rest of the family, Matt’s arm once again looped through Vladimir’s as his cane tapped the ground in front of him. “Just lead me. Normally Foggy walks with me but I think he’s being a bit of a jerk at the moment. He’s far too amused by this whole situation,” Matt breathed out, forcing a grin at his tense boss.

The Russian just gave a huff and continued walking, grip tight on the two bags he carried. He tried his best to completely tone out as Nana Nelson just gave a dry chuckle of, “Well we’ve heard it both ways. Actually, we’ve heard it many ways.”

“Mother!” Edward muttered with a forced grin to the glaring Russian.

Once they were beside the car though, Vladimir raised an eyebrow in confusion. “You are all coming to drop me off at hotel?”

Anna laughed lightly and slid into the backseat, allowing her husband to drive and mother in law to sit in the passenger seat. “Oh no, dear! You’re family now!” No one but Matt noticed how Vladimir tensed even more. “You’re staying with us of course! I won’t be taking no for an answer young man!”

Both Vladimir and Matt stop short, forced smiles frozen in place and tense as could be. “Chto? Nyet, no, I uh, I would hate imposing.” 

The blonde pinches Matt’s arm and Matt quickly nods his head. “He does. He hates feeling like a bother,” he says with a small shrug. He runs his hand along Vladimir’s arm as if to console his tense fiancé but quickly gives a sharp pinch to the Russian.

Anna just gives another laugh and waves them into the free seat beside her, Foggy already taking the seat to her left. “Nonsense! Family isn’t a bother! I’m sure if we all scoot close together we’ll have enough room in the backseat for you two, right Foggy dear?”

Foggy takes one look at his best friend and boss and shakes his head. “But mom, why not just let Matt sit in his fiancé’s lap?” The blonde grinned as both shot him a glare but he just kept talking. “I mean, they haven’t really gotten to cuddle much,” he says too sweetly, “and plus you know how Matt gets motion sickness. Maybe having Vladimir hug him the whole way home will help.”

Never before in his whole life had Matt wanted to strangle his best friend as much as he did in that very moment. But instead he just rubbed the back of his neck and glared from behind his glasses. “Yeah…” He said slowly, trailing off into a small sigh. “I can… I can do that. Thanks Foggy. You’re such a great friend. Looking out for me like that.”

Vladimir whips his head to look down at Matt in surprise but then slowly forces a very fake smile that looks more like a grimace on his face and just nods. “Da… Matvey can… sit in my lap… I put bags in trunk of car, then we go, da?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, just moves to throw his and Matt’s bags on top of Foggy’s in the trunk and slams the door a tad too harshly.

Nana Nelson just raises an eyebrow at the Russian while Anna lets out a surprised “Oh!”

After a few more moments of trying to steel himself, Vladimir finally moves to slide into the car to sit beside Anna. Slower still, Matt moves to sit in Vladimir’s lap. And if Vladimir tenses up and slams the door a tad too harshly again, well no one says a word.

Except Foggy who takes one look at his uncomfortable friend and boss and says all too amusedly, “Hey, Vladimir, in case Matt isn’t wearing a seatbelt you should probably hold onto him. Wouldn’t want him lurching forward.”

Anna catches the teasing in his tone and grins at the two men to her right. “And with Edward’s driving that’s quite the possibility.”

“That’s a total lie,” Edward says as he begins to drive, “my driving is wonderful.”

Matt’s barely audible scoff isn’t very reassuring to Vladimir. And so, reluctantly Vladimir does as expected and wraps his arms very loosely around Matt’s middle and tries to concentrate on something else. Anything other than the fact that his assistant’s rather nice ass is squirming all over his lap. And occasionally Matt is letting out tiny hum noises that could be interpreted as moans if he pretended hard enough and he denies that it goes straight through him.

He grips Matt’s hips tightly, probably tight enough to leave the imprints of his fingers for a small amount of time, and stills the moving man with a harsh barely audible hiss of, “If you move one more time, I am throwing you out of this car. Da?”

Matt’s only response is a slight flush on the tips of his ears 

and a jerky nod.

“Good.” And Vladimir moves his hands so that he once more has his arms wrapped tensely and loosely around his assistant’s middle.

Matt’s able to sit still for all of two minutes maybe before he’s moving once more, this time just slower as if that will make Vladimir not notice that he is in fact moving. The blonde just tenses and tries to think of anything else. But all he can find himself focusing on is how warm the younger man feels. The slow movements on his lap. The soft noises that Matt has  _ got _ to be letting out on purpose. And Vladimir can’t help but to flush in embarrassment as the movements on his lap go right through him once more and make him begin to grow slightly hard and he feels like a teenager.

Lightning quick, he’s moving his hands to grip Matt’s hips ever harder than before to still the auburn haired man. Matt lets out a huff but doesn’t say anything. Until Edward is speeding up slightly and he’s falling back so that his back is pressed flush against Vladimir’s chest and he’s accidentally grinding against his half hard boss, then he lets out a soft ‘ohh’ sound and can’t hide his smirk. Almost as though he can sense Matt smirking, Vladimir tightens his grip on the smaller man’s hips.

A breaths pause and Matt is moving even slower than before to rub against Vladimir who is still only half hard. A quick glance around and Vladimir finally seems to notice that the rest of the family isn’t even paying attention to them as they talk about work and the like. So he bites back a smirk and with his hands still on Matt’s hips, he pulls the auburn haired man closer against him.

The amount of satisfaction that he gets when Matt lets out a tiny gasp quickly diminishes as the man shoots him a frown before smirking ever so slightly right back and moving once more against Vladimir. They continue their slow, almost jerky, movements until Foggy is saying loudly, “Sweet! Boat ride time!”

Instantly Matt ceases his squirming and Vladimir quickly lets go of his hips. He barely gives Matt enough time to even fully get out of the car before he’s brushing past the younger man, nearly knocking him over in his haste to get to the trunk of the car. Foggy raises an eyebrow as he stands beside his best friend.

“I can feel you giving me the look of disapproval, Foggy. What’d I do?” Matt asked as he allowed his friend to lead him.

“What was with you and the Beast trying to get it on through your clothes? Beside mom!” Foggy breathed back, still giving Matt the look of disapproval as they made their way to the docks.

The blind man just gaped for a moment, briefly reminding Foggy of a fish out of water, and then finally sputtered out, “We were not trying to get it on!”

“You didn’t see the two of you and you’re lucky I was able to keep mom and nana distracted. We’re getting to the ladder, by the way and Hell’s favorite demon is already down handing dad the bags.”

Matt just gave a scoff but let go of Foggy so that the blonde could climb down and get into the boat. It takes a moment but finally Matt is slowly attempting to climb down the ladder all the while mentally cursing everyone and everything. Even more so when he hears Vladimir groan loudly from below him.

“Do you always take this long?” The Russian asks, arms crossed and scowl in place as he waits for his ‘fiancé’ to finish climbing down the ladder.

Everyone else is in the boat, watching the two in amusement. They can’t hear Vladimir’s and Matt’s mumbled conversation but are still amused at watching the ‘couple’.

“Well I can’t exactly see what I’m doing so I’m always a little nervous,” Matt huffs back just as annoyed sounding as Vladimir did. He lets his leg dangle for a moment before finally coming into contact with a step. “And I can’t swim so this part always makes me even more nervous,” Matt says just barely audible enough for Vladimir to hear.

Vladimir just raises an eyebrow, hands set on his hips as he stares up at his assistant’s ass. “Hence the boat, mudak.”

“That doesn’t make me less nervous, you fucker,” Matt snaps back, now only four steps lower, halfway down the wooden ladder.

The Russian scoffed and raised a hand. “Need help? I can help.” He smirked as his hand rested so that it was cupping half of Matt’s ass. He gave a small squeeze and couldn’t help but let his smirk grow as he watched Matt tense and grip the ladder so tightly that his knuckles were pale white.

Matt tilted his head slightly and glared down though he knew that the glare wasn’t seen from behind his dark red glasses. “Get. Your hand. Off of. My ass,” he ground out, turning his face back forward as he took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself.

Vladimir took half a step back as he let go of his assistant. “Almost there, Matthew. Just a little bit more. Come on,” he said, smirking in amusement as his assistant swung his leg around until he was stepping onto the dock. “You made it. And I am only one hundred years old.”

“Shut up before I push you into the ocean,” was all Matt snapped back, allowing Vladimir to lead him towards the boat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt is a lil shit and Vladimir is unamused.

The house was huge, could almost be considered a mansion honestly, and Vladimir quickly masked his surprise. Not fast enough since Anna noticed and pat him on the arm with a, “We’ll show you around tomorrow once you’re all rested.”

He nodded slowly before following Anna and Grace Nelson to the bedroom that was to be his for the next few days. But when the door is opened and he sees the room he feels as though he’s just walked into a fancy hotel straight from a magazine. The floor is freshly polished wood, the bed is huge and has what looks like silk sheets under the folded down comforter, and the windows are huge leaving the room to be well lit in the Alaskan sunlight that comes pouring in.

“And this is will be your room,” Anna says with a bright grin as she watches Vladimir stare in surprise at the room. She brushes into the room and opens up the large oak armoire. “Towels are in here,” she gestures to the fluffy white towels that are folded neatly and some more clean sheets, “along with sheets. So if you need anything just give us a call, alright?”

Vladimir just gave a slow nod, dropping his bag onto the loveseat at the foot of the bed and giving the room another shocked look over. He still had Matt’s much lighter duffel bag with the strap thrown over one shoulder.

Nana Nelson moved over to fluff one of the pillows on the bed. “And here’s the bed! I’m sure you’ll find it quite comfortable!”

Both the Russian and Matt flush slightly. “Uh, da. So where is Matvey’s room?” He asked, looking around as if he expected for the two women to at least point him in the direction of his assistant’s bedroom.

Anna and Grace tilted their heads in confusion before both gave soft laughs. “Oh, honey! We are under no illusion that you two haven’t slept in the same bed before! You are both adults and if you two do anything that is completely your choice! So of course Matty’s gonna sleep in here with you.” Anna says, gesturing to the large bed and giving Vladimir a comforting grin to let him know that she doesn’t mind him and Matt sleeping together at all. 

Vladimir’s forced grin just looks like a grimace. “Oh. Is so…”

“Tha- thanks, Anna…” Matt mumbles from beside the woman, face a light flushed color as his adoptive mother talks about his nonexistent sex life.

Vladimir coughs to clear his throat. “Is great. We uh love to uh…”

“Snuggle,” Matt almost spits out, trying to look completely calm as he moves to stand beside Vladimir. “Isn’t that right, sweetheart?” He wraps an arm around Vladimir very loosely and chooses to ignore as the blonde tenses under his touch.

The Russian nods quickly. “Snuggling is nice. I have gotten used to his breathing.  _ Unfortunately _ ,” he mutters the last bit in his native tongue with another small grimace at the bed. What annoys him most though is that it’s technically not a lie. He really has gotten used to Matt’s breathing back when they’re in his office in New York. It’s comforting hearing another person. But he doesn’t want to have to hear Matt all night.

Foggy bit back a laugh as he watched his best friend and boss attempt and fail to act like a recently engaged couple. “Hey, Nana! Give em the special blanket!”

Matt instantly shoots a narrow eyed glare to his amused friend, knowing exactly which blanket Foggy meant. “Oh no, that won’t be necessary,” he says coolly, frowning as Nana Nelson completely ignores him and gives a yell of, “Oh you’re right!” And soon enough she’s pushing a thick wool blanket into Matt’s arms.

The auburn haired man just purses his lips, wills the blush to stop painting his cheeks, and thrusts the blanket against Vladimir’s chest. “Chto?”

“We call it the baby maker!” Nana says brightly, grinning up at Vladimir who has a frozen fake grin on his face.

“Chto?” The Russian gasps out before staring down at the red and blue blanket and makes a face. “Well uh, thank you, but, Matthew and I, we cannot make babies.” He says slowly, trying to make his accent less prominent to ensure that the elder woman will understand him. It doesn’t really work since his anxiety has gotten slightly higher and his accent grows thicker. He holds the blanket back out to her but frowns as she shakes her head with an amused laugh.

The white haired woman gives him a quick wink and doesn’t take the offered blanket. “Oh we know that!” She laughs out. “But it does help with the sex. And we’re not naive enough to think you two don’t have sex!” When Matt just lets out a groan and covers his red face she laughs again, taking his embarrassment as confirmation that he and Vladimir in fact do sleep together.

Neither of the men get a chance to say anything since a siamese cat is darting out from under the bed to meow loudly at Vladimir’s feet. 

“Dear god, what is that ugly thing?!” The Russian yelps, moving quickly to get away from the hissing cat and standing behind his smaller assistant. Matt just lets out a low grunt noise as he’s nudged by his boss and the cat rubs itself against his leg.

Matt raises an eyebrow as he feels the cat purring against his leg and hands his cane to Vladimir who takes the offered object without even pausing. The blonde makes a face as he watches Matt lean over to pick up the cat, and if his eyes linger for a moment too long on the other man’s backside, well no one notices or says anything.

The auburn haired man grins as he cradles the cat, fingers lightly scratching behind the cat’s ears. “Aww, who’s this little guy?” He asks, pleased when the cat lets out a long purr as he continues to pet it. 

Vladimir wrinkles his nose in distaste at the purring cat. It makes him think of his brother. Anatoly had always been the cat person, never him. He himself had always preferred dogs. Something Anatoly had always rolled his eyes at but went with anyway because it made Vladimir happy.

Grace laughed lightly. “We call her Jingles. Her collar has a little bell on it and when she wears it all you hear is that stupid bell,” Nana Nelson says, reaching to take the little cat back. Matt is only half reluctant to pass the cat over. Vladimir frowns as he notices the slightly disappointed look on his assistant's face at handing the cat over. “Better be careful with her too. If you let her out the eagles will snatch her and she’ll be bird brunch.”

Anna holds her hands up. “She’s kidding! Kidding honey!” She laughs out, eyes wide and grinning as she takes in both Matt and Vladimir’s slightly worried looks. Grace just scoffs and pets the cat in her arms. “So it’s late and you’re probably tired from the flight so we’ll all just let you sleep,” Anna says before pulling Matt into a tight hug. She goes to do the same to Vladimir but stops when the Russian gives her a deer in the headlights look and instead opts for giving him a warm smile. “Alright you two, don’t stay up too late. Sweet dreams! Come on now, Franklin,” she ushers her son out of the room.

Grace hums to herself as she takes in the two young men who seem slightly uncomfortable now. She gives a mischievous grin to them and begins to slowly make her way to the door. “Good night you two.”

“G’night, Nana,” Matt says at the same time that Vladimir says, “Good night.”

“Good night!” She repeats again, sounding more amused than before. She shuts the door before either young man can say anything else.

For a few moments both men just stand awkwardly next to each other. Matt has his face turned down to the floor while Vladimir has turned to stare out of the large windows again. The view is nice and would be relaxing if he weren’t mentally panicking about everything that could possibly go wrong right now. He jerks his attention back to Matt when he hears the younger man begin to move around slowly.

“What are you doing?” The Russian asks, eyes narrowed as he watches Matt fall backwards against the mattress, letting out a content sigh.

“Almost sleeping?” Matt’s statement comes out sounding more like a question than anything. He quickly sits up, brows furrowed in thought. “You still have my bag?” The answer he receives is said duffel bag being tossed into his lap. “Thanks, asshole,” Matt snaps out with an eyeroll as he unzips the bag.

Vladimir raises an eyebrow. Then states clearly, “You are sleeping on floor”, as he props Matt’s cane against the loveseat.

The appalled look that Matt gives him makes him grin. The accompanied yell amuses him even more. “I am not!”

“Yes you are,” comes the simple response as Vladimir begins to dig through his own bag.

Matt scowls at where he can almost feel the body heat radiating from the Russian who is much closer than Matt thought he was. “No, I’m not sleeping on the floor again!”

Vladimir snaps to look back at Matt in confusion. “Since when have I ever made you sleep on the floor?”

The auburn haired man raises an eyebrow, not even surprised that Vladimir would forget but still annoyed that he would forget. “A couple of months ago! When you dragged me to Frankfurt with you and forgot to book a hotel room for me!” Comes the appalled whisper yell.

~oOo~

As Matt was led by his boss out of the airport, arms full of both his and Vladimir’s bags, the blind man decided that he really should start looking for a new job. Even more so when they checked into their hotel just to be told that no Vladimir did not book two separate rooms, just the one and no there was no possible way that another room was available as they were all booked already.

Instead of trying to find another hotel, the Russian just sighs and leads Matt to the room that they would be sharing for the week, all the while talking on his cellphone while his assistant struggled with their bags and his cane.

The hotel room was average size and had a decent sized bed, far too many pillows, and freshly washed sheets on the bed. Vladimir takes one look at the bed and promptly sits on the edge of one side as he continues to tap away on his phone, emailing someone or another, Matt doesn’t even care. He just wants to drop the bags and collapse on the other side of the bed and sleep the rest of the week away. Though he knows there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that he’ll be able to get away with that, he is half tempted to try it anyway.

There’s a snapping sound that has Matt jerking his head to look in the general direction as he recognizes the sound of Vladimir snapping his fingers to get his attention. Something that really and truly just irks him to no end.

He bites back the urge to snap, “Yes, overlord asshole?” And instead just forces his expression to remain neutral as he asks calmly, “Yes, boss?”

“You can put the bags down now. You are sleeping on floor by the way,” Vladimir states simply, not even bothering to look up from his phone to see what is sure to be an appalled and glare filled look on Matt’s face. Matt instead just scoffs and rolls his eyes, already coming to the conclusion that he would be sleeping on the floor. Which to be honest, was fine by him. He’d have rathered sleep outside than share a bed with the Russian.

There’s the sound of the bags being dropped to the floor and Matt’s cane tapping the floor lightly as he moves around the room. Vladimir just watches him, half interested but mostly bored.

“Are you hungry?” Vladimir asks suddenly, breaking the silence. He doesn’t give Matt enough time to answer, instead just rushing with, “I am starving. Let’s find food. Busy day tomorrow.”

Matt’s too surprised to do anything other than nod slowly and allow himself to be led from the hotel room. They wander around the streets of Frankfurt side by side until they’re walking into a McDonald’s. Matt can’t help but find that funnier than it should be; his Russian demonic boss likes McDonald’s. But he’s smart to not point this out to Vladimir and instead allows Vladimir to lead him to a small booth where they eat in an awkward silence. Vladimir pretends to not notice when Matt begins stealing his fries and Matt takes that as a cue that it’s okay to steal more.

“So, what’s the plan for the week, boss man?” Matt asked conversationally, finally finding the silence between he and the Russian awkward.

“Hm,” Vladimir took a sip of his tea, eyebrow raised at Matt’s new name for him but then decided it wasn’t that important to note. “We go to the book fair and get as many authors wanting us to publish them. Our last day I think we go sightseeing, da?” He mentally smacked himself as the words escaped his mouth. Then slowly he shut his eyes as Matt just frowned at him, french fry halfway to his mouth. “I-”

Matt cuts him off, small smirk on his lips, “I got it. It’s fine. So we’re taking a vacation from work. What happened to no vacations?” The auburn haired man asked, throwing the Russians words from a previous time when he had asked for a vacation week from work months ago.

Vladimir quickly shook his head in the negative. “Nyet. We do not take vacations.” But his assistant just raised an eyebrow. “This is just business trip.”

“Sure, boss.”

Back in the hotel room later that night Matt has made himself a small place to sleep with a few extra blankets as a makeshift mattress and a few of the extra overly fluffy hotel pillows. While Matt is attempting to make himself comfortable, Vladimir had wasted no time to fall into his bed and quickly get comfortable. His bed that was really big enough for two but there was just no way that he was sleeping with Matt.

The Russian attempts to ignore Matt’s non stop movement but can’t help but glare up at the ceiling anyway in annoyance. He’s too tired and worn out and just wants to sleep but how can he when all he hears is Matt’s movements? It takes a few minutes more but finally his assistant deems himself comfortable enough and lies still. Vladimir refuses to even acknowledge it but Matt’s steady breathing from the floor lulls him to sleep much more quickly than Vladimir expects. It normally takes him what feels like eternity but really only a couple of hours to fall asleep, but he falls asleep before even half an hour has passed. He’ll later say it was because the flight over and jet lag make him exhausted.

While Vladimir is happily snoring away, occasionally mumbling in his sleep in Russian, Matt is lying on the floor unseeing eyes staring up at the ceiling as his hands clench and unclench the blanket he had draped over himself. He’ll find himself finally beginning to doze off only to be jerked awake by a more loud mutter from the Russian or a particularly loud snore. When he’s jerked from his sleep by Vladimir moaning, or maybe that was groaning?, in his sleep, Matt decides enough is enough.

The snoring he can almost deal with. The talking in his sleep, Matt finds annoying but hey, he can live with it. Vladimir having a sex dream with Matt less than six feet away though? Not tonight. Or any night for that matter.

“Boss!” Matt hisses out quietly. He sighs when Vladimir just lets out another moan like sound. “Vladimir!”

There’s the sound of the mattress shifted as Vladimir moves in his sleep then another low mutter that Matt can distinguish as, “-et, Tolik…”

Matt scowls and quickly sits up, hissing out, “Vladimir!” But the result is the same; the Russian just continues sleeping. The auburn haired man takes one of the three pillows he has and chucks one at Vladimir’s general direction, smirking slightly when he hears it connect with Vladimir’s body. But his smirk falls and he groans, falling back against the remaining two pillows, as Vladimir just begins snoring slightly louder.

“I hate everything,” Matt grumbles under his breath in annoyance, the mutters coming out muffled from beneath the pillow that he has pulled over his face.

~oOo~

Matt ended up making himself a place on the floor, right in front of the loveseat at the foot of the bed, grumbling under his breath about how much he hated everything and “My house and I am still forced to sleep on the floor.”

Vladimir just rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored his complaining assistant. The younger man frowned as he heard Vladimir try to quietly make his way to the big bed. There wasn’t the typical sound of clothes making soft sounds when they’re moved as was typical when a person would walk.

“Ar- are you not wearing clothes? Just underwear?!” The Russian’s silence is answer enough and Matt runs a hand down his face, taking a deep breath to calm himself before saying, “Why are you only in  your underwear? Those are seriously the only pajamas you brought to Alaska? Vladimir, it’s cold!”

The blonde just scoffs and makes himself comfortable in the bed. “I am Russian. Or did you forget?” He asks with an eyeroll then continues with, “The cold does not really bother me.” He gives a small nod in approval at the comfortableness of the mattress.

Matt just scoffs and holds his hands up in a surrendering pose. “Alright, Elsa!” He snaps out dryly.

All movement in the bed stops as Matt’s words hit Vladimir. Then the Russian is speaking up with his accent slightly thicker in what he refuses to say is amusement; it’s pure annoyance; “Did you just call me a Disney Princess?”

“I think she’s a queen actually,” the American corrects almost absentmindedly, pulling his own blanket, which happens to be the ‘baby maker blanket’, up and attempts to get comfortable. “But yes. Yes I did, boss.”

Instead of giving a verbal response, Vladimir just throws a pillow down at Matt. Who tosses it right back with a huff; he misses Vladimir’s head by just a couple of inches.

“Shut up and go to sleep, mudak,” the blonde snaps out, falling back against the mattress. Matt just gives a half assed attempt at a salute and rolls onto his side. The bed lets out a noise as Vladimir shifts to his side, arm reaching out to pull a pillow to his chest. He groans at the sunlight still shining into the room. “Can’t sleep with the sun on.”

Matt just gives a scoff. “Then shut the blinds, idiot.”

Vladimir scowls but does as his assistant so rudely suggested. “I think I would rather be back home in Russia than deal with you any more,” the Russian mutters as he climbs back into bed.

“Well that can be arranged, sweetheart,” Matt snaps back before they both fall silent, seemingly done with their argument.

Just as a few months ago, Matt’s even breathing rate begins to lull Vladimir to sleep. Unfortunately, it takes Matt much longer to fall into a light sleep as Vladimir’s snores and mumbles keep him up on and off through the night. It feels like he’s only been asleep for a handful of moments when Vladimir’s phone begins to ring obnoxiously loud from the nightstand.

“Oh for the love of all that is holy…” Matt mumbles, tugging his pillow over his face in an attempt to drown out the ringing noise.

At the same time Vladimir has jerked to push himself up, bed almost as messed up looking as his hair looked. The Russian yawns, eyes still half lidded in his half asleep daze, as he begins to blindly reach around for his phone. He scowls as he comes in contact with only blankets and sheets and pillows.

“Matthew!” He hisses out, crawling around the bed as he continues to reach out for the blaring phone. When his assistant just grunts in response, Vladimir scoffs and sends a quick glare to the blind man. “Matthew!”

“What?!” Matt hissed back. He quickly inhaled a deep breath and mentally counts to ten in an attempt to calm himself.

while Matt is trying to will his annoyance away, Vladimir hasn’t ceased in flipping pillows up in search of his pjone. “Phone! Where is phone?!”

The darker haired man sighed and gestured to the nightstand on the left side of the bed. “Top of the nightstand. How do you not know where your phone is?”

“Shut up!” Vladimir hissed back right before he was falling off of the bed, phone now clutched in hand. “Priv- hello! Ah! Madame Gao! Hello? Hello?! Nyet, no, I am here!” He yells out loudly, now walking around the room, footsteps thundering to Matt’s ears. He didn’t even give Matt a second glance as he tried to hold his phone up to gain better cell signal, all the while still yelling into the phone.

Matt groaned and held the pillow over his face a tad tighter, almost as if he were attempting to smother himself back to sleep. But as Vladimir continued pacing around the room yelling into his phone, “Nyet! I am here! I am here! Can you hear me?”, Matt finally gave up and threw the pillow at where he could hear Vladimir at. He ignored as Vladimir let out a noise in distress before the pillow was hitting him back in the face. The blonde didn’t even seem to fully register his assistant’s behavior, too worried about the phone call with the Chinese woman. “Madame Gao?!”

“Oh for the love of God, Vladimir! Please shut up!” Matt snapped out, once more attempting to smother himself with the pillows.

The Russian ignores him. “I have horrible service! Is worst service! Can you hear me?” He yells out, tone full of worry as he hears the Chinese woman yelling at him that she no longer wanted to do the Oprah interview and Vladimir can just tell that this must be some sort of karma for firing Fisk and getting Matt to lie with him to the younger man’s family about their false engagement.

Another hiss of, “Vladimir!” And the Russian sighs before reaching over and grabbing the first thing his hands come in contact with, one of Matt’s hoodies that the auburn haired man had tossed onto the loveseat the previous night, and begins to tug the too small hoodie on over his bare chest. He doesn't bother with the zipper, just tugs his shoes on as he attempts to leave the bedroom, stumbling as he tries to move silently through the house.

As the Russian struggles, the Chinese woman continues to yell at him. “I am sorry you feel I pressured you into doing the Oprah interview but don’t be like this!” Vladimir says loudly now that he’s finally outside. He didn’t realize that he didn’t shut the door all of the way and didn’t even notice as the Siamese cat followed him until she began to meow quite loudly at his feet. The blonde scowled at Jingles and made a shooing motion that only made the cat meow louder at him.

“Do not be the writer that changes their mind every two seconds! Do not be like this!” Vladimir began pacing, running a hand through his still messy hair. The cat stayed by his feet, purring as he trips trying not to step on her. “Go away,” he hisses out quietly. But not quietly enough apparently as Madame Gao heard him and began to yell even more. “Nyet! Not you! Not you!”

But the Chinese woman ignores him, begins to yell how she would much rather be dealing with Wilson Fisk than him and why can’t she talk to Fisk? Vladimir bites back a groan as she continues her complaints.

Jingles is still walking around his feet, meowing even louder and purring when he shoots glares down at her. Finally, he drops to his knees to be eye level with the bright blue eyed cat and puts the phone against his chest to hiss out, “Be fucking quiet, damn cat!” The cat seems appalled but Vladimir has already stood back up the pace once more, the Chinese woman not even knowing that he had momentarily ignore her complaints.

“Everything will be fine. I can call and cancel if you want me to,” Vladimir states simply. “But my job is to help you succeed and if you wish to succeed I definitely recommend doing the interview! I just think that, since for so many years you have inspired me,” he glances up as he hears a loud noise and frowns as he stares up at an eagle flying over him in a circular motion. A glance over and he sees the Siamese cat exactly where he left her, lying in the sun. “-uh, with your writing,” the cat begins to hiss loudly and Vladimir frowns in worry, eyes never leaving the bird above him. “And I think is time the world get to enjoy your words as well, da?”

A quick glance to the cat and the cat’s hair is standing up as she hisses at the eagle. When Vladimir jerks to look back up at the bird, all he sees is the deep blue sky and clouds. A quick glance back to the cat and he sees the eagle swoop the cat up. Jingles lets out a distraught meow and hisses, flailing as she attempts to scratch the giant bird.

“ _ Oh God… Oh shit _ !” He breathes out then yells in his native language before remembering that he’s still on the phone. “I mean uh,” he begins to chase after the bird, “just uhm, Madame Gao I am going to need you to hold for a moment!” He yells out just before he’s chucking his phone at the bird. “Give me that fucking cat!”

The eagle lets out a screech as it lets go of the flailing cat and Vladimir jumps to catch the frightened cat. He doesn’t let go of the cat, even as he runs to pick up his phone and continue his conversation. “Prosti! Uh, dropped my phone.” A glance up and he scowls as he notices the eagle is once more circling above him. He begins to run with the bird chasing after him and forces himself to remain calm and continues nonchalantly, “This is just your legacy, this book, da? And I think you should introduce your legacy to the world and so call me back with your decision tomorrow! My phone is always on for you, dasvidaniya!” He yells, quickly ending the call and ducking to the ground as the bird makes a swoop down at his head.

He holds his hand up to wave the bird away but instead is surprised when the eagle snatches his phone and begins to fly off. “Nyet! No! Nyet nyet nyet!” He shouts, staring after the bird in annoyance. A glance down at the cat that he still holds cradled to his chest and he quickly holds said cat up, attempting to not panic as the bird flies further away. “Here! Take the cat! Take the stupid cat! Just give me my phone back!”

Unknown to the Russian, Anna and Grace are standing by the window, giggling as they watch him run around with the cat held up above his head. They can’t hear what he’s yelling but they find the picture to be quite adorable, the big bad and scary Russian playing with their cute cat while in his underwear and a hoodie. They stop when Matt yawns from behind them, slowly making his way towards the two women.

“Mornin’. What’s goin’ on?” He asks tiredly and with a yawn.

“It’s the cutest thing, Matty!” Anna exclaimed with a giggle, eyes never leaving the sight of the blonde who was now cursing in a mix of English and Russian. “He’s playing with Jingles!”

“Huh?”

Grace laughed and placed her hand on Matt’s arm. “And here we were thinking he didn’t like our cute cat! Would you go get him, Matty? Anna and I have quite the day planned ahead.”

Slowly Matt nodded and let himself be shooed outside. The closer he got to Vladimir, he was able to make out half of what the Russian was saying.

“Come on! Is delicious cat! Come on, just give me the fucking phone, sutka!” Vladimir yelled, shaking the cat a bit and ignoring as Jingles hissed and scratched at his arms.

“What the hell are you doing?” Matt asked after listening to Vladimir run around and yell a bit.

“Your Nana Nelson was right!” Vladimir yelled back, still holding the cat up and eyeing the bird that was now much further away. “Eagle tried to eat your damn cat but then took my phone!”

Matt raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Are you drunk?"

“Chto?”

“Drunk. Are you drunk?” Matt repeats much slower, arms crossed and expression completely disappointed. He doesn’t give Vladimir time to answer. “I know that you’re Russian and all and you probably drink vodka for breakfast but seriously? It’s not even nine in the morning. And I know this isn’t the most ideal situation but come on. Why are you drinking so early?”

Vladimir scowls at him. “Mudak! I am not drunk! That fucking over sized pigeon just took my damn phone! Or were you not listening to me?”

Matt held his hands up in surrender and his expression fell from disbelief to patronizing. “Oh I’m sorry. Did the big bad eagle take your baby?” He smirks as Vladimir huffs at him, completely unamused with his sass once again.

“Listen here you little shit, I am still your boss and I can make working for me until your promotion a living hell!” The Russian hisses at his still smirking assistant. He raises an eyebrow as he notices that Matt isn’t wearing his usual red tinted glasses but decides it best to not to say anything. Or wonder where Matt’s glasses are.

The auburn haired man just snorted. “Working for you is already hell. Now, relax. Don’t worry about your phone.”

“How can I not worry? Gao is calling me on that!” Vladimir snaps back, now holding the cat closer to him instead of suspended in the air.

Matt rolls his eyes at the Russian. “Look, I back your phone up everyday. It’s all stored in the cloud or whatever or on your laptop. We’ll just order another phone, ship it here, and sync your information to it,” Matt finishes, sounding completely exasperated with his boss.

For a moment Vladimir can only stare at Matt in something close to worship. “That simple?”

“Yep,” Matt said, popping the ‘p’.

“Huh…” Vladimir looked down at the cat that he was almost sure was actually glaring at him. “Then I guess your devil cat can go,” he said before tossing her to the ground and watching her run back to the house. Matt just raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment.

Instead Matt just tilted his head slightly, feeling as Anna and Grace watched the two of them. “Hug me.” 

“Excuse you?”

“Hug. Me. My mom and Nana Nelson are watching. So you have to hug me so that they don’t think that we’re fighting,” Matt explained, taking a small step forward.

The Russian just scoffed. “Nyet. I do not want to hug you.” 

“Believe me, the feeling is mutual. But do it anyway, sweetheart.” The auburn haired man didn’t give Vladimir time to respond, just tugged him close and wrapped his arms the Russian’s neck. “Now you have to hug me.”

Vladimir scowled but slowly wrapped his arms around Matt’s middle. “Don’t want to hug. Just want my damn phone.” 

“I know,” Matt hummed out patronizingly. “Damn that mean bird to hell for taking your poor cell phone,” he continued, rubbing at one of  Vladimir’s shoulders with one hand.

The blonde let out a huff, letting his hands fall from Matt’s hips to cup the younger man’s ass. Matt tensed in his hold and Vladimir couldn’t help but to smirk at his assistant’s unease. “Oh. Well that is nice. You are right. This hugging thing is nice, isn’t it? So nice,” Vladimir pat the younger man’s ass not so gently and smirked as Matt hummed. “Nice, da?”

“Yeah…” Matt drawled out, nodding slowly. Then he tightened his arms around Vladimir’s neck in warning. “You touch my ass one more time during this trip, and I will cut your throat while you sleep. We clear?”

Vladimir let go of him and shrugged. “Sure. Like crystals.”

“Good,” Matt hummed out, reaching his hand out to slowly pat softly at the Russian’s cheek. Vladimir raised an eyebrow in surprise at his assistant's behavior. Then grunted in surprise but otherwise didn’t react when suddenly Matt tapped, really it was a light slap, his cheek much harder. “You’re such a good fiancé.”

“Wish I could say the same, mudak,” Vladimir hissed out, eyes narrowed as he rubbed at his stinging cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly not too sure how I feel about this chapter considering I have had mega writer's block and wrote most of this in an hour today. 
> 
> I may not be able to update much for the next few weeks but will try to. I just have most of my classes ending this month. And I'm working about 25-35 hours for the next three weeks while also attempting to finish six of my online classes before April 27th. 
> 
> But hopefully I'll have a few chapters for some stuff out soon. But anywho! Onwards with the chapter!

“I don’t want to do this,” Vladimir stated, breaking the silence with annoyance painting his tone as he watched Matt pull a shirt over his head.

After the two men had come back inside Anna and Grace had given them grins and brightly informed them that they would be taking them out for the day with Foggy and Candace accompanying them. The two women wouldn’t tell them what they were planning, just that it was a surprise and for them go get dressed and to, “Not get distracted and don’t be too long now!” The young men both flushed a light pink as they picked up on Nana Nelson’s not so subtle innuendos.

Matt just rolled his eyes at his boss. “Of course you don’t,” he responded dryly as he picked up his folded cane and slid his glasses onto his face. “You think I do? We have to hold hands again.” The auburn haired man gave an exaggerated shudder and smirked as he heard his boss scoff at him. “Just come on. It’ll be fine.”

“Doubtful,” Vladimir huffed out quietly, slipping his wallet into his back pocket.

“We’ll probably just go sight-seeing.”

“Do not want to sight-see.”

“Nonsense. You’ll love it. You can describe everything to me in front of my family and we’ll seem like we’re just the happiest couple. It’ll be great. Maybe even go shopping,” came the easy, almost teasing, response from the younger man as made his way to the door. Vladimir frowned at the odd tone that he wasn’t used to hearing but followed after the blind man. “Now, give me your arm,” Vladimir slowly did as commanded and frowned even more so and tensed as Matt’s arm hooked with his. “And let’s go play happy couple.”

~oOo~

As it would turn out, the Nelson’s had planned a surprise party in the small town much to Vladimir’s annoyance. He did his best to keep the scowl from forming on his face as he took in the many faces, all of which came to give Matt and Foggy hugs and welcome them home.

After a few more hugs and congratulations Vladimir is able to lead Matt away to a mostly abandoned area. The Russian leaned down to hiss to Matt, “A party?” Eyes narrowed as he watched a group of people make their way to Foggy.

Matt just gave a shrug, eyes narrowed from behind his dark lenses as he heard the aggravation in Vladimir’s tone.. “Apparently. What do you want from me? It’s not like I set this up! You think I want everyone knowing that I’m engaged to you?!” He spit out quietly.

The words and the tone surprise Vladimir for just a moment and then he’s pushing his index finger against Matt’s chest. “Watch your tone! I am still your boss, you are still my assistant! You still have to do as I say!”

The auburn haired man just scoffs. “You know, in all of the training I received prior to becoming your personal assistant, it was never mentioned that I would have to break the law and pretend to be oh so happily engaged to you,” Matt snapped back just as quietly as Vladimir had.

For a moment the two are caught in a heated glaring contest, just willing the other to cave first. Vladimir breathes out slowly and tugs Matt a step further away from the other people. “Enough! If we are going to pull this off we need to be more like a couple,” he scowls as the word escapes him, “We need to act like we are in love.”

Matt raised an eyebrow, tapping his hands on his chest. “Me? I can do that. I can play the loving and doting and sickeningly sweet fiancé.” When Vladimir just scoffed in disbelief Matt let out a huff, arms crossing over his chest. “I can. But you, yikes. I doubt that you can stop feasting on the souls of puppies long enough to pretend to be nice.”

The Russian scowled at him and resisted the urge to push Matt. “Oh you are just so fucking hilarious! So god damned-” he ignored the very disapproving look that Matt shot him, “-funny!”

Matt pursed his lips and just shook his head. “Whatever. If you want to stand here and be a dick-” Vladimir gave an appalled sound that went completely ignored by the younger man, “-then stay here. Or if you want to stay in this country then pretend to love me and play happy with my family and friends!”

A few moments pass with the two once more glaring at each other but slowly Vladimir twines his arm back through Matt’s and the false couple walk through the bar meeting and talking with anyone who stops to congratulate them on their engagement. It seems to be going well, the party seems like it’s beginning to die down.

Vladimir decides that he rather likes Yelena. The bar that the party is being hosted in belongs to her and it doubles as a strip club he learns as she tells him this in their native language. Matt upon hearing the two converse in Russian had turned his attention to a man who could only be a few years older than Matt and who had his arms wrapped around the middle of a young man with fluffy brown hair. Vladimir would soon learn that the younger man’s name was Peter and that he worked for the newspaper for the small town while Wade was just a very odd Canadian and that no one was sure what he did for a living.

“So, what exactly do you two do?” Peter asked, gaining attention from Vladimir who just raised an eyebrow at him. At Wade’s snicker, Peter’s cheeks flushed a light pink and he elbowed the man hanging onto him in the stomach. “I meant what do you two do for your job. Book editing.” He shot a very unimpressed look to his own boyfriend, not finding Wade’s sense of humor as amusing as Wade.

Before either Matt or Vladimir could answer, a voice from behind interrupted with a scoff and, “Now that is a good question.” Matt tensed immediately, hand gripping Vladimir’s arm almost tightly enough to leave light bruises.

“Stick,” Matt greeted stiffly.

Vladimir turned to stare at the old man in curiosity. He looked slightly out of place in the crowded room and he seemed much more relaxed than Matt obviously was. The Russian raised an eyebrow as he took in the red tipped cane, exactly like Matt’s own, and the dark tinted glasses that covered his eyes.

“Hello, Matty. And this must be Vlad I take it?” The old man asked, head tilted slightly.

The blonde’s eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Vladimir.” He’s quick to correct the old man just as he had to Matt on the plane.

The old man smirks at his completely annoyed tone. “Stick,” he introduces himself before he’s turning his head slightly so that if he could see, he’d be staring right at Matt who is glaring right back.

Vladimir only knows that Matt is glaring because of how tense the younger man is and how his brows have furrowed.

“I’ve heard a bit about you. None of it good. So, what exactly does a book editor,” he sneers as he says the words, saying them as if they physically pained him, “do? Other than taking writers to lunch and getting bombed and reading books all day.” Almost as if he could sense the Russians glare, he smirked to annoy him even further.

Peter glanced between the three of them and forced out a laugh as if to diffuse the situation. “Now that seems like fun. Doesn’t that seem like fun, Wade?”

The Canadian just grins down at Peter. “So much fun, Petey,” Wade says with a small smirk, far too amused with how Vladimir is glaring at the old man. The brunette elbows him softly in the ribs and forces a small laugh.

Vladimir scoffs, arms crossing over his chest.He didn't know who this man was, but he really didn’t like him. And judging by Matt’s tenseness at his side Matt wasn’t exactly overly fond of him either.

Peter just forced another laugh in an attempt to calm the situation. “Well anyway. Taking people out for lunch, that sounds like fun. No wonder you like being an editor, Matt.”

Before Matt even has a chance to say anything Stick is interrupting with a scoff and, “Matty isn’t the editor from what I can understand. He just works for one. Though I guess it could be considered under one.”

The only thing stopping Vladimir from punching the man was the fact that he had to hold Matt back from lunging at him. If he notices, Stick pretends he doesn’t.

“Hello, Matthew,” a beautiful voice says, almost purrs out, teasingly.

Matt freezes and then grins so brightly it puts the sun to shame. When Vladimir looks over at the woman he can’t help but to think she’s very beautiful. And that obviously something went on between her and Matt if him grinning like the way he is is any indication. He doesn’t understand why he has a spout of jealousy flare up but he quickly pushes it away. He has no reason to be jealous. It’s not as if Matt is actually really his.

But honestly, he and Matt are pretending to be a couple and engaged couples do not go running over to their ex and hug them tightly the way Matt and this woman are. And as much as he wants to clear his throat to draw Matt’s attention back to him he doesn’t. He just watches the two of them. And feels like an outsider doing so.

“Elektra! What are you doing here? I thought you moved!” Matt laughs out.

The woman just shrugs, a teasing grin painted on her mouth. “I did. But as it would turn out I actually missed Alaska,” she laughed softly, Matt laughing lightly with her. “I mean can you imagine? I actually missed this god awful place! With it’s horrid weather and everything!”

“The weather isn’t that bad!” Almost as if he can sense the look she’s giving him Matt rubs the back of his neck sheepishly before agreeing. “Okay, the weather is a bit of a pain. I guess I get lucky with the whole I don’t have to worry about non stop sunlight.”

Elektra gives another soft laugh and the two hug each other tightly once more. 

Vladimir watches the two, careful to keep his annoyance from showing on his face. There is instant chemistry between his assistant and this woman and it makes him uncomfortable. A glance to Stick and the smug look on the old man’s face makes him wonder if this is some sort of plan.

“Anyway, Matthew! We are being quite rude. Look at us, leaving your poor fiancé out of the conversation,” Elektra teases as she turns her attention to Vladimir. “Elektra,” she introduces, holding her hand out for him to shake.

He narrows his eyes at the offered hand but takes it, giving a firm shake. “Vladimir.”

“Ellie and Matty here used to be quite the, what do you kids call it now? Item?” Stick says, seeming to notice and take pleasure in Vladimir’s discomfort. “In high school.”

While Matt scowls at him Elektra just laughs, instantly dismissing Stick’s remark. “Oh please. That is ancient history.”

“Just like your age,” Matt breathes out causing for Elektra to elbow him in the side lightly, though she couldn’t keep her own smirk from forming on her lips.

“So Matthew,” Vladimir hates how every time she says Matt’s name the auburn haired man grins, but when he says Matt’s name his assistant just sighs. “How is New York? And being an editor?”

Before Matt even gets a chance to open his mouth Stick is saying quickly, “Oh Matty isn’t an editor. You weren't here for that part of the conversation.”

Elektra just raises an eyebrow. Matt rolls his eyes from behind his dark tinted glasses. Peter frowns at the old man. “Oh. So you’re,” he gestures between Vladimir and Matt, “Vladimir is your…?” He trails off as Matt scowls.

“Matty’s boss.” 

An awkward silence begins to pool around the six people only to be broken by Wade’s shrill whistle and, “Well this got awkward way too quick. Petey, you wanna go find the bar? I am willing to bet big money that the Soviet Spouses can get us something good real quick.” The Canadian doesn’t give the younger man time to respond, just literally drags him away with Peter giving an awkward half wave as they went.

Vladimir raised an eyebrow while mouthing ‘ _Soviet Spouses?_ ’ to himself in confusion.

“Well I think I’m going to get some fresh air,” Stick said before tapping his cane as he began to leave the crowded bar.

Vladimir raised an eyebrow as he watched the man’s retreating figure. “Well,” he began slowly, tone full of venom, “he is just absolutely fucking charming.”

Both Matt and Elektra scoffed. 

“No he isn’t. You don’t need to lie. I’ll be right back.” With that said Matt quickly unfolded his cane and began to follow after Stick

Elektra made a humming noise, slowly shaking her head at her ex-boyfriend then turned her attention to Vladimir. The almost predatory smirk that she sent to him nearly made him step back. “Come sit with us ladies,” she grabbed ahold of his arm and jerked him to follow behind her. “If you’re lucky, we may be able to talk Natasha and Yelena into doing the opening show!”

Vladimir frowned in puzzlement. “Opening show?”

~oOo~

“Are you serious right now? Did you seriously have to do that?!” Matt shouted once he and Stick were a distance away from the bar.

Stick just sighed. “What are you babbling about?”

“That was one hell of a first impression, Stick! What the hell!” Matt yelled back, scowl set in place and face slightly red from his aggravation. “There was no reason to do that! Any of that!”

The old man just scoffed. “Please. He’s your meal ticket and you brought him home to meet your family!”

For a moment Matt is stunned into silence. He mouths the words ‘meal ticket’ to himself. “What does that even  _ mean _ ?!” To which Stick just snorts and turns to walk away again. “Hey! Get back here!”

“I think we’re done with this conversation, Matty,” Stick stated dryly, cane once again tapping the ground as he moved away from the young man.

Matt scoffed. “No, I think this is a good time. No ‘Hey, Matt. How have you been?’ Let’s just get to the whole yelling thing! That’s fine!”

“You’re the one yelling!” Stick snapped back.

Both men glared at each other, glares not phasing the other in anyway at all.

“Never took you for the type to sleep your way to the top though. That’s a disappointment,” Stick spit out, tone full of disapproval.

Matt let out a laugh. “Look old man,” he ignored the scoff, “Let’s get one thing straight,” he scowled as Stick just let out another scoff, “I am not sleeping my way to the top. I will have you know that that man in there, that you completely embarrassed me in front of, is one of the most well known and successful book editors in the nation and he just so happens to be my fiancé!”

~oOo~

Vladimir frowned as he watched Elektra move to speak in hushed whispers to Yelena and Natasha at the bar. Wade joined in with an enthusiastic nod and at the women giving him dry looks he quickly turned his attention back to Peter with an overly exaggerated sigh of, “Petey, the girls are being mean!”

The Russian nearly jumped when he felt someone move to sit right next to him at the table. “So, who are you? You’re new.”

Vladimir turned to look at the man. He had short dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, wore far too much purple in his opinion, and had obnoxiously bright purple hearing aids in. “Uh… Vladimir.”

“Clinton but you can call me Clint,” the purple wearing man gave a wink that made Vladimir tense slightly. “Just like everyone else does. Want some cheese? These are an Alaskan delicacy,” Clint said with false seriousness as he pulled a small plate with cheese cubes with toothpicks in them towards himself.

“Nyet. Spasiba.” Vladimir turned his attention back to the trio of women still at the bar.

Clint frowned. “Aw, come on! They’re good! Who doesn’t like cheese!” As the blonde stared ahead, pointedly ignoring him, Clint picked up a cheese cube by the stick and held it up, grin in place.

Vladimir huffed, remembered Matt telling him to ‘play nice’, and kept himself from glaring at the blonde. “Me- ack!” He winced as a cheese cube was stuffed into his mouth. He made a face, attempting to chew and swallow the cube but the taste was enough to make him want to spit it back out.

Clint’s beaming face made him narrow his eyes in a glare. “Good, yeah?” He popped a cheese cube of his own into his mouth and hummed out softly in pleasure.

“Nyet!” Vladimir forced out, somehow managing not to spit the food out. A quick glance around and when he saw no napkins, he swallowed the cheese with a shudder. Clint’s still grinning face made him almost flip the table in annoyance. “What?” He spit out instead.

Clint shrugged, grin still set in place. “Nothing. So you’re Vladimir? The one everyone has heard so much about?” Vladimir paused for a moment at the slight smirk that began to pull at Clint’s lips. “Heard a lot about you. The big scary beast of New York.”

Vladimir scoffed, eyes narrowed, with a quick fleeting thought of, _‘I_ _  am going to make Matthew pay. Maybe not today. But one day. _ ’ He was spared from having to respond as Elektra sat down easily at the small table beside him with Yelena and Natasha sliding down as well.

The redhead leaned close to whisper to Clint and the blonde man grinned widely before dashing off. The slight smirk that all three women had made Vladimir tense in spot and feel as though he should probably leave. But he took a deep breath and willed himself to stay seated. 

Though his efforts were almost lost when Yelena turned to him and stated simply, “We have a surprise for you. To show you what you will be missing once the marriage life kicks in.”

His only response was a raised eyebrow.

Elektra gave a soft humming noise that could almost but not quite be considered a giggle actually, and said, “You are about to witness one of Sitka’s most treasured attractions.”

Vladimir gave a scoff, eyes narrowing in confusion as he watched most of the men begin leaving the bar with huffed out laughs. Nana Nelson along with Foggy, Anna, and Candace all moved to sit at the empty table beside where Vladimir and the trio of women were sitting.

“Oh, you’re going to love this!” Nana Nelson says happily, pulling her wallet from her purse with far too much enthusiasm.

When Foggy just lets out a snicker, Vladimir isn’t so sure that the old woman is right. And when the bar dims and music begins playing and the last remaining people begin cheering, Vladimir almost runs because his instincts say this can only end in disaster.

~oOo~

Stick let out a scoff. “Please. You hated this man and now you’re engaged?”

“Things change,” Matt tries almost desperately though he’s grateful to be able to have kept the desperateness from his tone. He knows how it seems; he had complained about his boss for three years and now they were engaged. If it were happening to anyone else he would think something was going on too.

“Things change?” Stick responds with disbelief. “Yeah right.”

“Things change,” Matt says insistently.

The old man just scoffed and rolled his eyes from behind his dark lenses. “You want to know what I think?” He ignores Matt’s dry mutter of, “Not really.” And continues with, “Sounds to me like you slept with your boss and have some sort of daddy complex.”

Matt’s jaw drops in surprise at the words. A light flush dusts his cheeks and the tips of his ears as their meaning begins to settle in on him. “Excuse me?!” He splutters out. A quick shake of the head, as if to clear his mind before he’s yelling again, “I do not have a  _ daddy complex _ !”

Stick shrugged not really caring. “Alright. Some sort of daddy kink then.” 

Matt flushed, scowling. “Vladimir is not that much older than me if you must know! He’s only five years older than me!”

~oOo~

Vladimir wasn’t exactly sure what to expect but when the curtains opened and Clint was standing on stage, cocky smirk in place and barely wearing anything, well he was really not expecting that. And judging from the overly amused looks that were being given to him by Natasha, Yelena, and Foggy it was clear that his surprise was painted on his face for the world to see.

He makes a face as Clint begins to move and jerks slightly in his seat when the man yanks his pants off and tosses them into the cheering audience, leaving him only in a bright purple thong. It’s a miracle to Vladimir that he doesn’t cover his eyes in shock.

Anna leans over from her seat to say so that Vladimir can hear her over the blaring music, “Clint is the best exotic dancer on the island!”

Foggy snorts on a laugh and Vladimir just barely catches his mutter of, “Because he’s the only stripper we have.”

Nana Nelson doesn’t seem to hear her grandson and instead turns to Vladimir. “We’re very lucky to have him! Work it Clinton!”

The blonde on stage winks at her and begins to move over when he sees the elder woman along with everyone else at her table and Vladimir’s hold up a few crumpled bills. When all of the women point to Vladimir, Foggy bursts out laughing and hides his face in his arms, while Vladimir just shakes his head.

“Nyet! No! Is really not necessary!” The blonde Russian yells to be heard over the music, eyes wide in worry. He doesn’t even seem to notice as Yelena sticks a tiny crown and veil on his head.

But Clint just winks and grabs a hold of the neck of Vladimir’s shirt to tug him up towards the stage. 

“Show him what he’ll be missing, Clint!” Natasha yells to her best friend, lips turned up in an amused grin. The man just shoots her a thumbs up which makes her have to turn away to hide her laughter.

“Come, sexy princess!” Clint says, grinning at Vladimir.

“The fuck did you just call me?” The Russian snapped in a annoyance, eyes narrowed. He bit back a groan of aggravation as Clint began to lead him to the stage with a mutter of, “Okay just kill me,” and tensely sits down on the chair that is in the middle of the stage.

When Clint’s almost bare ass is only a handful of inches from his face, Vladimir leans back as far as he can in the chair and makes a face at Foggy, just begging for the blonde to stop laughing and rescue him.

Clint begins to move, his crotch just centimeters from Vladimir’s face and the crowd cheers loudly. A glance over and he sees the two tables of women almost falling from their seats while they laugh at his expression.

Yelena cups her hands into a megaphone like movement and shouts, “Let him get a good feel! It’ll be the last time he gets to before he is married!” Elektra’s and Natasha’s cheers make Clint wink and agree.

Clint takes Vladimir’s hands and tugs the stiff Russian so that his hands are now cupping his bare ass cheeks. Almost without meaning to, Vladimir’s mind wanders to when he had copped a feel of Matt’s ass the previous day and he can’t help but think that Matt’s ass feels worlds better in his hands than Clint’s.

~oOo~

Matt rubbed at his the bridge of his nose, willing the forming headache to go away. “I just got here!” He finally hissed out. “Could we please wait at least an hour before we start with the fighting?! You haven’t seen me in years!”

“That wasn’t my fault.”

The auburn haired man snorted. “Sure it wasn’t.”

Stick scowled in Matt’s direction. “It wasn’t. If I’d had a choice in the matter I would have kept you.”

Matt huffed, hands on his hips now in annoyance. “You make it sound like I’m a pet!” 

Stick just shrugs. “A pet wouldn’t be back talking me and therefore would be preferable.”

Matt just scowled. “Social services wouldn’t have taken me away if you hadn’t been such an abusive asshole, you know,” he finally stated dryly.

“How was I supposed to know that it was considered child abuse if you beat a child to greatness?!” The old man yelled back.

“Well you have the word ‘beat’ in there so I would think right after you thought of that you would know,” comes the simple unamused response from the younger man.

The old man just shrugs, head tilted slightly as if to say ‘Well what can you do?’, and otherwise he doesn’t say anything else. So Matt just sighs and takes this as his cue to leave; he’s left Vladimir with his family and friends long enough, there’s no telling what could have possibly happened by this time.

He doesn’t even say anything as he leaves, just turns and begins to walk, cane tapping the ground rhythmically as he moves. As he makes his way back to the bar he can’t help but to think of when lived with Stick. It wasn’t exactly pleasant, but it also wasn’t the worse. He had missed Stick for the longest time and had been unable to understand why one day Stick was there and the next he was being left at Saint Mary’s Orphanage again. Had yet to forgive the old man for just leaving him only to come back every few years and make him feel as though no matter what he did, it would never be good enough.

But no matter how much he wished to he just couldn’t for the life of him hate the old man. Stick may have had horrible methods but he did teach Matt how to live on his own, how to not accept pity, how even though he was blind he could still do anything he wanted and to not let anyone tell him different. And because of the way Stick had treated him he had been adopted by the Nelson’s. So really, how could he hate the old man?

He pushes the door to the bar open, head held high and pushing the momentary hurt away. And then stops to cock his head to the side slightly in confusion when he hears many people yelling and music blaring.

“Smack his ass, Vladimir!” He hears Nana Nelson shout with a laugh.

~oOo~

The blonde freezes, tense as a bow string and ready to leap up and run like an arrow about to be shot, the longer that Clint dances rather provocatively right against his side. When the blonde man begins to kiss his hand then proceed to bring his hand up to his cheek so that he could caress the Russian’s hand, Vladimir’s heart begins to race and he feels so out of place with everyone staring right at them and laughing and cheering. 

He jerks his hand back, scowl set on his face and eyes narrowed into an intense glare that typically made his employees run for cover. But all it earns him from Clint is the slightly smaller man wagging his finger in his face as if to disapprove of his behavior. 

“Oh, naughty little devil, aren’t you?” Clint says in an amused tone.

Vladimir just scowls and gives a mutter of, “ _ The only devil is Matthew for leaving me here _ .”

When Clint turns back to face the crowd, ass right in front of Vladimir’s face again, Nana Nelson shouts out, “Smack him!”

“I’m sorry?” Vladimir chokes out.

“Smack his ass, Vladimir!”

Vladimir vehemently shakes his head. “Nyet! Do not want to touch him!” He leans away as Clint begins to dance once more, still far too close for his liking.

Natasha, Elektra, and Yelena begin a chant of, “Smack that ass! Smack that ass!” A chant that Foggy soon joins in.

The blonde scowled and gave a low mutter in his native language of, “ _ Want me to smack his ass? Fine, I’ll smack his fucking ass _ ,” before closing his eyes and just barely smacking Clint right on the ass.

Clint gave a surprised yelp before raising an eyebrow, finger wagging at Vladimir once more, as he tsked at the Russian.

“Can I get down now?” Vladimir asked, sounding completely broken down and defeated. He doesn’t even wait for anyone to tell him yes or no he just stands and walks off of the stage, Clint following behind him far too closely.

Once off the stage he spots Matt standing at the bar’s entrance, mouth dropped open in shock of all that he’s heard. He scowls, doesn’t even look at the laughing women and cackling Foggy, just storms his way over to his blind assistant where he loops his arm through Matt’s and yanks the smaller man out of the bar.

“Woah! Okay! Calm down,” Matt says as he is forcibly dragged away from the bar.

Vladimir doesn’t slow down or let go of Matt’s wrist. Just continued to mutter under his breath in his native language, the words sounding like gibberish to Matt.

“Vladimir!” Matt yelps out as he trips over a rock, jerking his arm slightly. Vladimir helps to jerk him back into a standing position.

Matt scowls, finally managing to tug his wrist free from the Russian and rubbing at it. “What is your problem?” The blind man snapped out.

“My problem is you!” Vladimir snaps back, poking Matt right in the center of his chest. “You and your shitty family,” Matt’s expression grows dark, “And your shitty bedroom! And shitty friends!”

“Are you quite finished having your temper tantrum now?” Matt asked sourly, arms crossed and glare set on his face. After having dealt with Stick just minutes previously, this is not what Matt wants to really deal with.

Vladimir opens his mouth to continue yelling but stops as he takes in his assistant’s tired looking expression and worn down form. Instead of the yells that he wants to let out, “What is wrong?” slips out.

For a moment Matt is surprised that the Russian seems to have the ability to sound worried. But he quickly shakes the feeling away. 

“Nothing.”

Vladimir knows that he could drop it. Knows that he could just continue yelling at the younger man and even have his assistant yelling back. “Liar,” comes the scoffed out accented retort instead.

Matt just sighs, shaking his head. “It’s nothing. Just drop it.”

“Is it because of that old man?” The glare that Matt sends him is answer enough. “Who is he anyway?”

“I said drop it Vladimir,” Matt hisses out between clenched teeth.

But the Russian just huffs, rolling his eyes. “What happened to we are supposed to be learning about each other? How are we going to pass this test in a few days?”

Matt gives a slow nod. “Oh but I don’t remember that being one of the questions so drop it,” he says with false disappointment.

Vladimir has half a mind to continue bothering his assistant, and honestly he almost does, but the fact that Matt looks so on edge and almost defeated makes him sigh and try to think of how best to switch the topic.

“ _ Red. My favorite color is red jackass _ .”  The words play through his mind like a recording.

“Blue.”

Matt raises an eyebrow in confusion. “I’m sorry?”

“My favorite color. It’s blue,” Vladimir sighs out. He looks away as he tries to think of anything else to say. But his mind is drawing a blank from the pressure he’s accidentally putting himself under. “I have hate-love relationship with snow,” he says slowly, “I got my tattoo when I was fifteen years old. And I hate spiders.”

He feels awkward as he waits for Matt to say something. Even his assistant laughing at him would be better than the silence that has begun to cross the line to awkward.

“Why,” Matt coughs to clear his throat. “Why do you have a love-hate relationship with the snow?”

Vladimir takes a deep breath. More to steady himself than anything and slowly, very quietly that he’s surprised Matt even hears him, says, “My brother was in car accident in snow. Bad accident with ice on the road.” Of all of the things for Matt to focus on, Vladimir wishes it hadn’t been that as the memories hit him full force. He pushes them away, back into the corners of his mind, not wanting to think about them.

Instead he takes the small crown with attached veil from his head and presses it into Matt’s hands, a slight flush on the tips of his ears as the auburn haired man just raises an eyebrow at him in confusion.

“What’s this?” Matt asks, slowly running his hands over the odd material.

Vladimir scoffed. “Is veil. Apparently your family thinks I am bride. Ridiculous, da?”

Matt just smirked slightly. “I can appreciate them all thinking I top though,” he says almost teasingly. The almost snort like laugh that escapes the Russian makes Matt laugh.

“Please. You could never top me,” Vladimir huffs out, sounding annoyed but with a slight undertone of amusement in his voice.

"I could."

"Could not."

The American laughed again, making Vladimir hum softly in pleasure. “Let’s go home,” Matt says, sounding much more at peace, though also sounding sorry since he knows what it’s like to have memories brought up of dead family, than he did just moments previously. He doesn’t notice the look of complete and utter surprise that paints itself across Vladimir’s face. He just notices that his boss has frozen for just a moment before he moves to walk right beside him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I would just like to say that it is a headcanon of mine that college Matt smoked pot.  
> Second, I headcanon, based off of my terrible terrible cousin, that he probably used bible pages at least once as rolls. Which is horrible. And I know that it is terrible. But really, the mental image amused me. And I am a terrible person.   
> And finally, I'm sorry it took me so long to update. School and work have been a killer. Thank you for being so patient with me! <3

“So, did you know I used to really like disco music?” Vladimir states more than asks before taking a handful of the buttery popcorn from the large bowl that sits between him and Matt.

He smirks as his assistant chokes on a mouthful of the food. “No way!” Matt laughs out, swallowing and coughing as he tries to stop laughing so he can regain his breath.

When the two had finally made it back to the Nelson family home Matt had moved easily to the kitchen, placing his folded cane onto the counter before he proceeded to make the two of them popcorn before heading back to their shared room. Since then they had gone through two whole bowls and were working on their third of popcorn and had played multiple games of twenty questions where they were now just telling each other about themselves.

The blonde nodded solemnly. “And not like just like it but really really love it. Honestly,” he leaned closer to whisper, “I still do.” He grins as Matt bursts out laughing again, spilling some of the popcorn to the comforter.

“Please tell me more!” Matt says loudly between the laughs. He grins as he learns more about his boss, more than what he ever thought he would learn actually. He can’t help but to feel much more at ease now that they seem to be past the yelling at each other and tenseness so thick it couldn’t be cut. And learning that his monster of a boss is actually human does help him to calm down around the Russian. He’s actually beginning to even find the blonde comforting in an odd way.

Vladimir just hums softly, rolling his eyes in amusement at his assistant’s enthusiasm, as he tries to think of more about himself. “Well,” he drawls out, “I have never played a video game.”

“Join the club,” Matt laughs out, holding up a piece of popcorn. Vladimir seems to take the hint and taps a piece of popcorn against Matt’s, almost as if they are toasting to each other, before they’re both eating their own piece.

“I have a book of fairytales that belonged to moy brat’ya. I read it every Christmas,” Vladimir says, smile slipping from his face as he thinks of the book that sits on his bookshelf in his living room. “My favorite fairytale is  _ The Firebird and Princess Vasilisa. _ Anatoly, moy brat’ya, he would read it to me when we were children. He was more fond of  _ Tsarevna Frog _ . In English is  _ The Frog Princess _ , da?”

Matt gave a small, sad smile as he took in this new information. Never in a thousand years would he have expected for his boss to like fairytales. And so this was rather surprising. “What was he like? Your brother?” He asks softly, face turned down so that he would be staring at the comforter.

Vladimir pursed his lips as he tried to think of how best to answer his assistant. There were so many words that could be used to describe his elder brother; responsible, loyal, reliable, amazing. But still none seemed to be good enough. So he took a breath and settled with a quiet, “He was my best friend.”

A moment passes in silence, though it isn’t an awkward silence, before Vladimir is speaking up softly, “I do not like flowers. Especially in the house. They remind me of funerals.”

He frowns when Matt gives a small nod in complete understanding and he bites his tongue to keep himself from asking what happened to Matt’s own family to make him an orphan. But he doesn’t have to ask because a few breaths pass and Matt is taking a deep breath and saying slowly, just above a whisper, “My dad died when I was nine. Well, I say died, but he was killed…” He trails off with a small shrug.

“What about your mother?” Vladimir asks before he can stop himself. “She is dead too?”

Matt’s forced smirk makes him frown. “No,” Matt shakes his head, “I just pretend that she is. As wrong as that may be. She’s a nun. At the orphanage that I actually lived in for a few years. Imagine that. Weird, huh?”

Though the younger man tries to play it off and act as though it doesn’t bother him, Vladimir can tell that it does. And it makes him want to ease Matt back into their calm conversation once more.

“My tattoo is on my hip,” Vladimir says almost awkwardly, his accent slightly thicker as he thinks about the small tattoo on his body. “Got it when I was fifteen and at fifteen could not think of where else to put it, you know?”

Matt raises an eyebrow. “Huh. What’s it of?”

“Laika. She is in spaceship,” Vladimir sighs out, preparing himself to be laughed at. His parents had thought it quite amusing when their fifteen year old had come home one night and proudly pushed his pants down a bit to show them his new tattoo. Even Anatoly had found it amusing.

But Matt just tilts his head slightly, doe brown eyes wide, and leans back against the pillows. “Who’s Laika? Like the space dog?”

“Da.”

“Why?”

It’s not asked rudely, just in pure curiosity.

“When I was child,” Vladimir begins, shifting in spot awkwardly as his assistant patiently waits for the story that will go along with the tattoo. “I liked space a lot. Was very interesting to me. And I wanted to become astronaut. Is stupid, I know.”

But Matt just gives a small fond smile and shakes his head. “No. It’s actually kind of…” He trails off as he searches for the right word before settling with a fond, “cute.”

Vladimir raises an eyebrow at the word. “I am not cute.” He smiles as Matt just laughs at his appalled tone and his mind slowly begins to wander as he wonders how else he can make the American laugh again. “I haven’t slept with anyone in at least four and a half years.”

Matt stops laughing immediately, eyebrows raised in surprised. “Seriously? You haven’t slept with anyone in almost five years?” He asks in curiosity.

Vladimir shrugs. “I have been busy. With work. Not all of us go out, Mr. Magic Pants,” he says dryly before eating another mouthful of popcorn.

The auburn haired man laughed again, not noticing as Vladimir gave a him a look and a half smile. “There are so many things wrong with that sentence that I honestly have no idea where to even start. Mr. Magic Pants?”

The Russian flushes as the words are thrown back at him. “You are always coming into work disheveled and looking like you are ready to fall asleep. I know I keep you at work late, but not that late.”

When Matt flushed and began laughing loudly Vladimir couldn't help but to give a small grin back even though he didn’t like the thought that his assistant had obviously slept around a lot more.

Slowly Matt was able to get his laughter under control and he shook his head, a light flush still dusting his cheeks. “I have you beat actually.” Vladimir raises an eyebrow in question and Matt continues with, “I haven’t slept with anyone since I was eighteen. And even then it was only with Elektra. A few times.”

Vladimir frowned and as Matt’s words and their meaning began to sink in his mouth dropped open in surprise. “You haven’t had sex in seven years?!” 

Now it was Matt’s turn to squirm slightly in embarrassment. “That’s what you get for assuming things, boss. You know what they say about assuming,” Matt almost teases his now mildly embarrassed boss. “And you do keep me pretty busy with work but that isn’t why I don’t sleep with people. It is why I come into work looking like a mess though.”

The Russian just raises an eyebrow as he munches on the popcorn. He half notices that they’re beginning to get near the bottom of the bowl once again.

Matt has an almost bored expression as he takes a handful of popcorn and eats it slowly. “I used to smoke pot in college. A bit in highschool but mostly in college.”

Vladimir’s eyes widen in shock. “No way. You?” Matt shrugs. “What about your very strict no illegal business in your life rule?” He teases, throwing the words from just a few days ago back to Matt, smirk on the corners of his mouth.

The younger man laughed softly. “Well, eight years ago I didn’t care all that much about legal and illegal. And oh, I’m going to hell for this…” Matt mutters, covering his face with his arm as he lays on his back.

Vladimir scoffed. “For smoking pot? Doubtful. There are probably other reasons why you’re going to go to hell,” the Russian smirked in amusement at the huff he received from the American.

“Bible pages are the best to use as rolls,” Matt breathes out before laughing again.

“Chto?” Vladimir frowns slightly in disappointment. He wasn’t overly religious, but he still was. And so the fact that Matt had torn pages from a bible to smoke wasn’t exactly that appealing.

Matt groaned. “I’m going to hell because I’m a Catholic who used bible pages as rolling paper.”

Vladimir laughs loudly, a sound that Matt finds he quite enjoys. It takes him a few minutes but finally is able to say, “You are right. You are going to hell!”

“I still haven’t told my priest. How do I even bring that up? Or go about asking for forgiveness for that amount of sin? I’m the literal worst kind of human.”

The mutter only makes both men laugh again, popcorn spilling from the large bowl. 

“But,” Matt holds up an index finger, “he does know about me being bi. So I guess that’s a win. For the longest time,” he trails off with a small sigh. Gathers himself and continues slowly. “For the longest time I refused to admit it honestly. To anyone. Even myself. I wasn’t scared really, just worried I guess? It’s said in the bible it’s a sin. And so I just could never think about it. I didn’t want to.”

Vladimir nods in understanding. “I grew up in Orthodox church. Russia still is not very open minded to people being different.”

Matt frowns and gives a small nod. “I talked to my priest a bit after I moved back to Hell’s Kitchen. He was helpful. Made me feel a lot better and more comfortable. You know?”

Another nod of understanding from the Russian. 

The auburn haired man frowned slightly as he thought back over the conversation that he had had with Father Lantom years ago. “He told me love is not a sin so it doesn’t matter who you love, regardless of gender. That so long as you have faith you will be in the kingdom of God. It may sound stupid-”

“Not at all actually,” Vladimir interrupts softly, eyes never leaving Matt’s face.

“-but… It helped.”

A few more moments pass in silence until Vladimir breaks it with a soft hum in thought.

“Cannot believe you haven’t had sex in seven years,” Vladimir says again, still sounding surprised.

Matt snorts. “I can’t believe you thought I was getting some. Or that you haven’t had sex in five years. I mean, I know what with work and how you get and all it had to have been slow going but I mean, I seriously expected a booty call in there somewhere at least once every few months.” 

Vladimir just gave a scoff back in response. “Could say same for you.” 

The small laugh that Matt lets out makes Vladimir relax even more.

Matt sits back up and slowly shakes his head. “I’m not really all that good at that actually.”

The Russian just raised an eyebrow, sitting up as well. “Oh? I can actually believe that if you have only had sex a handful of times.”

Matt scoffed, small friendly glare set in place. “No, not that! I am great at that, thank you very much. Top notch. Five out of five. Would so do again.”

Vladimir burst out laughing. “Is that so?” Matt nodded in complete seriousness and he gave a low hum in thought. “Then I take your word for it, Matvey.”

“As you should.”

The two fall into another peaceful silence and just lay comfortably on the bed, taking a small comfort in each other’s company. Though if asked, neither would admit to it. 

Vladimir scoops what is left of the popcorn off of the bed and dumps it back into the bowl and leaves the bedroom to go place the bowl in the kitchen. When he returns he just raises an eyebrow at Matt who has slid under the blankets.

“What are you doing?” He asks, making his way to the left side of the bed, further away from the door.

The answer he receives just makes him bite back a fond eyeroll. “I’m tired. The floor isn’t comfortable. You sleep on the floor tonight,” comes the tired response.

Vladimir just sighs in false exasperation. “Bed is big. We can share tonight?” He nods in approval when Matt gives him a thumbs up accompanied by another yawn.

So he slips into the bed, stays close to the edge, and makes himself comfortable. Matt doesn’t move very much, just a few inches closer to his edge of the bed.

“Back to your tattoo placement though,” Matt says between yawns, “kind of disappointed that it isn’t a tramp stamp.”

Vladimir just scoffed, but couldn’t keep his amusement from his voice. “Go to sleep, mudak.”

This time, Matt is the first to fall asleep. His even breathing rate slowly lulls Vladimir into a peaceful sleep.

~oOo~

Come morning Matt is snuggled a bit too close to Vladimir’s chest. He’s on Vladimir’s side of the bed, but Vladimir’s arm is wrapped securely around his middle and holding him tightly in place so that even if Matt were awake and wanted to squirm away he wouldn’t be able to. It’s the first thing the blonde notices when he wakes up; he’s too warm and something is tickling his nose uncomfortably.

He blinks to get the sleep from his eyes and sees auburn hair directly under his nose. He almost wants to tug Matt closer still just because of how comfortable it is to be pressed against another person. And as it is, he has to stop himself from grinning fondly down at his still sleeping assistant.

It’s not long at all before he’s falling back into a light sleep, loosening his hold on Matt just slightly.

And it feels like only a handful of moments, but in reality was nearly an hour, pass before Matt is squirming in his hold and slowly pushing himself up. The younger man frowns as he feels a comforting weight on his middle, frowns even more when his fingers graze feather lightly over it and he knows it to be Vladimir holding him. He can’t stop the thought of, ‘ _ What an asshole! Getting on my side of the bed! _ ’

Slowly so as not to wake Vladimir he moves to stand up, frowning when he realizes that, ‘ _ Oh. I’m the asshole on his side of the bed. _ ’ He yawns when his feet finally touch the cool floor and stretches his arms above his head as he quietly makes his way to the door, forgetting about his glasses and not noticing as Vladimir watches him with a bored expression, eyebrow raised.

As Matt makes his way to the kitchen he tries not to think about how well he’d slept or how comfortable he had been or how for a moment he’d had to force himself to move away from Vladimir. It was far too early in the morning for him to be thinking over the way his heart was beginning to race when he was with Vladimir. Too early to be thinking about how he was beginning to like his boss more than as just a friend; even liking him as a friend was difficult for him to wrap his head around. He’d hated the Russian since his first day of being Vladimir’s personal assistant. One night of talking didn’t change that, didn’t change the amount of hell that Vladimir had made him deal with. One week, hell even a lifetime, of heart to heart conversations wouldn’t change that.

But he still couldn’t help liking him. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. It made no sense and he was not going to rush into anything. Vladimir was just using him, and he was very well aware of it and was doing it right back for a better work position, to stay in the States. So he would push his own personal feelings away, sweep them under the rug or stuff them into a closet just as Stick had told him to as a kid because feelings for people would just get you into trouble and make you do things you wouldn’t normally do, and he would continue on with this plan of pretending to love Vladimir. And when it would be over he wouldn’t be hurt. Because logically he knows it’s all pretending.

He gives a small groan, rubs at his face, and scowls slightly at the floor. It’s too early to be thinking about this.  _ So why is he still thinking about this? _

He shakes his head, as if to shake the thoughts and the wants away, and resigns himself to talk to his priest as soon as he’s back in Hell’s Kitchen. Finally he’s managed to work himself up enough to walk into the kitchen and greet his family with a yawned and muffled, “Good morning.”

“Morning, Matt,” Candace says sounding far too chipper for it being not even nine in the morning yet. He just raises an eyebrow at her tone.

Seeing Matt’s confused expression Foggy gives a low chuckle and, “She’s doped up on coffee at the moment. Poor Candy here decided to take some extra classes.” The blonde sticks his tongue out at his sister when he sees her doing the exact same thing at him.

“Ah.” Matt grins back in complete understanding. “Regretting that decision yet?”

“I regretted it five seconds after doing it and every moment after,” Candace stated as she stirred more sugar into another cup of coffee. She hummed contently as she took a small sip. “Mm, so, you and Vladimir,” she didn’t see as her adoptive brother’s grin fell just slightly, “how’d that happen?”

“Honestly, it hit me out of nowhere,” Matt began slowly in a very dry tone, and if Candace noticed she didn’t react to it. “Much like a train. It was like one morning I woke up and it just hit me.”

He kicked Foggy under the table when he heard his best friend snort out a laugh into his own coffee. Foggy gave a soft yelp that Candace either didn’t notice or ignored.

Instead the young woman just gave a small yawn. “Well I think you two look cute together.” Matt flushed all the way to the tips of his ears. Which she didn’t notice. “And I personally can’t wait for the wedding. Do you think you two will adopt kids? You know, I actually kind of can’t wait to have nieces and nephews to spoil rotten.”

“Woah woah Candy!” Foggy laughed out, his laugh sounding just a smidge forced. “They aren’t even married yet, who said anything about kids?” The blonde glanced over to his friend and saw the auburn haired man gaping slightly, eyes wide in shock and seeming too surprised to even speak up. “Uh, you okay there, Matty?”

Matt gulped almost audibly and slowly nodded. “Ye- yeah. Great. I’m fine. I’m great. I’m… I’m going to uh… Go and wake up Vladimir? Yeah. That.” He slowly stood up, willing his knees to stop shaking.

As he slowly makes his way back to bedroom, completely forgetting about getting breakfast, he can’t help but let his mind stutter over the word ‘kids’, it echoing almost painfully. He knew that being ‘married’ to Vladimir would make his family think of things but children had never been on the list of questions to expect. Though in hindsight it probably should have been.

Anna and Edward Nelson loved children, often times talking about how excited they would be to spoil any future grandchildren. Candace even liked children though she seemed more on board with adopting. And Grace Nelson, well Nana Nelson, she really wanted to have future great grandchildren before she couldn’t see them. And considering Matt was the first out of the three grandchildren to be getting married, he was stuck with great grandchildren duty.

He wondered how long it would be until Nana Nelson would be dropping hints, though her subtly dropping hints was akin to that of a bomb dropping, about when Matt and Vladimir would have children. Against his wishes he wonders if Vladimir even likes children. The Russian had never said now that he thought about it. And he wondered if he and Vladimir could even raise kids. But then shook the thought away because they would never adopt children so why even think about it?

He has the feeling that Vladimir would probably want to adopt from Russia and the thought makes him grin before he can bite it back.

He’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t hear the muffled yells from inside the bedroom or the cat hissing. He just turns the knob and walks into the bedroom, stripping himself of his pajamas once the door is shut.

~oOo~

The blonde waits just a handful of moments after Matt has left the room before he is slowly getting out of the bed, deciding that a shower would be best if he’s going to deal with another day with the Nelson family. Especially if it is going to end up much like the previous day. Despite how he acted he was beginning to grow to like the Nelsons. Along with Matt.

As the warm water sprays down upon him he can’t help the thoughts of how it’d felt with Matt pulled close to his chest and he doesn’t even realize when he begins to softly hum the music from the previous night. How the younger man smelled like soap. It had been such a long time since being with anyone that this was completely foreign to him and he wasn’t sure how to feel about this situation or even go about handling it. He likes the family’s company. Likes Matt’s even more. But he doesn’t want to become attached. He’s Matt’s boss, he realizes this, and he’s only using Matt so that he doesn’t have to leave the country, and he realizes this as well, but he still wants more. With a scowl at the wall he tries to dismiss the thoughts.

He’s so busy trying to ignore the thoughts that he doesn’t notice the bedroom door being pushed open or hear as a quiet meow echoes through the bedroom. Not until he’s stepping out of the shower, dripping water everywhere and making puddles across the tiled floor as he looks around for a towel.

“Towel… towel… where the fuck is the towel,” he mumbled, accent thicker than usual as he searches the cabinets for a towel. He frowns when he sees the completely barren cabinets. Sighs when he realizes that there are probably more towels in the armoire. Which he notes with another sigh is outside of the bathroom. Almost as soon as he opens the door Jingles looks up at him from the foot of the bed and when the two make eye contact Vladimir begins to slowly take a step back into the bathroom. But he moves too slow and Jingles is suddenly at his feet, hissing a bit.

“I just- stop fucking hissing at me! You are cat, not snake! Stop! Just let me get a damn towel!” He yelps as he moves further from the cat only to have her follow right after him. The blonde scowls down at her and he swears that if a cat could smirk, that is exactly what she would be doing since she seemed very pleased with herself for making Vladimir back away.

“I am sorry for trying to feed you to the damn oversized pigeon now just go away!” The cat gives a loud meow. “Before I kick you across this room, go away?!” This just earns him a loud his to which he scowls at.

A moment and he glances down to see the soaking wet floor mat. He looks back to the cat, an eyebrow raised. Then slowly begins to move the mat over to Jingles in hopes that she’ll move to it.

“Come here… You little,” he mumbles, breaking off into Russian curses.

As soon as Jingles very slowly, and very cautiously, steps onto the mat Vladimir is hurriedly turning it and swapping their positions so that he can move from the bathroom, nearly slipping from the water that has dripped everywhere onto the floor. He has his back to the bedroom door and doesn’t see Matt, and Matt is too lost in his own thoughts to realize that Vladimir is still in the bedroom.

By this time, Matt’s pants and boxers have joined his shirt on the floor and he is just as equally naked as his boss. Who when he turned to face forward, smacked right into him.

Matt falls back, one hand gripping onto Vladimir’s arm in an attempt to steady himself but only managing to ensure that the Russian lands on him, and the first thing he thinks when his body smacks the floor is that he probably just ran into a wall.

“What the-”

“Matvey?!”

They yell at the same time as they fall to the floor with a loud, very audible, thump. For half a moment they just stay on the floor, blinking rapidly in surprise and trying to comprehend what exactly had just happened. It seems that at the exact same time they both remember their nakedness, and realize that the other is just as unclothed as them, and scream out in unison, “Why are you naked?!”

“Oh my God!” Vladimir yells, still not making a move to get off of his assistant who’s eyes are very wide in shock. “Oh my God!”

“Why are you wet?! Why are you naked?! Get off of me!” Matt yells out, words falling out in a rush.

The blonde just continues staring, his eyes just as wide as Matt’s. “Then let go of my arm!”

Almost as if he had just been burned, Matt lets go of Vladimir and shoves him away. Vladimir scrambled to move as far away from the auburn haired man as possible and ended up landing himself beside the bed while Matt moved towards the armoire.

“What in hell’s name are you doing?! Walking around naked! Don’t look at me!” Vladimir shouts, not realizing what he’d just said.

Matt gives him a dry look, pausing from his own moving just to snap back, “Oh no. What ever would I fucking see, Vladimir! What on God’s green earth are  _ you _ doing walking around naked?! And wet!”

“For the love of God! Cover yourself! You are showing everything, mudak!” Vladimir yelped instead of actually answering. “Why?! Why are you naked?!” He shouts, grabbing the first thing that he could to cover himself. He promptly tosses the baby maker blanket across the room with a scowl.

Matt points to where he imagines the door to be. “I was going to take a shower! Why are you naked?! And wet!” He’s beginning to feel a headache form as he repeats himself. “Jesus Christ, Vladimir! What the hell?!”

The blonde scowls at him and makes a gesture to the bathroom. “Because I was in shower! Did you not hear me?! And I thought you were Catholic!”

Now Matt flushes slightly. “I am! I can still say Jesus  _ fucking _ Christ though in a situation like this! Why didn’t you have a towel!” He yells, switching blame back to Vladimir.

“I forgot one!” The Russian yells, glaring at his assistant who has by now managed to pull a towel from the armoire and wrapped it around himself. “Not in cabinets! What the shit?! Who the fuck strips before going to bathroom?!”

Matt just scowls right back at him, cheeks still a light pink. “Me!” He gestures to himself. “Did you not hear me?! I wasn’t exactly quiet!”

“Your devil cat was distracting me!” Vladimir snaps back, eyes narrowed.

The younger man frowns, taken aback for a moment. “Wha- what? What is with you and this cat, Vladimir?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, just narrows his eyes himself and raises an eyebrow. “Are you trying to seduce me?”

The question shocks Vladimir and the Russian scowls as he chokes out a stuttered, “Chto- no!”

“Because if so, this is the worst seducing I’ve ever experienced,” Matt continues, not seeming to hear the Russian’s answer.

Vladimir glares at him, wishing that looks could kill so that Matt would stop asking questions. “Would you just go shower already? You stink!” Matt just rolls his eyes and turns to open the bathroom door.

Jingles took this opportunity to run from the soaked bathroom and hisses as she runs past Vladimir.

“You see?! You see?!” The Russian yelped, pointing at the retreating cat. “ _ That’s right! You better run! _ ” He muttered darkly, eyes narrowed as she meowed softly.

“No,” Matt snaps back dryly.

The blonde scowls at him. “Your little devil cat! It hates me! She is little wild beast!”

Matt just raised an eyebrow before stating dryly, “Oh yes. You are so right. I barely made it over here with my life!” He slammed the door shut before Vladimir could respond. And promptly almost slipped as he stepped into a cold puddle.

Vladimir almost, almost but not quite, smirked in amusement when he heard Matt shout, “What the hell! Why is there water everywhere?!” Instead he just groaned loudly, a deep blush painting his face red, and face planted into the bed, wishing the floor would just open and swallow him whole. He tried very hard to will the thought of how it had felt with Matt’s chest pressed flush against his own and the smaller man gripping his arm, and instead he slowly moved to the armoire for a towel so he could dry himself and get dressed.

He knew that he had caused Matt hell. He knew working with himself was difficult. Anatoly had often told him that as children. And he knew that there was no possible way that Matt would like him. He knew this so why was his heart racing so fast at the thought of him still pressed against him?

Meanwhile Matt leaned against the bathroom door and gave a soft exasperated sigh and tried to will away the half hard on that was quickly growing the more he thought about Vladimir on top of him, leg between his own. “ _ I hate my life _ ,” he thought to himself, running a hand over his face and trying to will what he was sure to be a bright blush away.

Both ultimately decided it best to forget about the whole ordeal and just try to finish the weekend trip.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this sucks so much and that it took so long to upload. Hopefully if I'm not too busy with work all summer I'll be able to finish this fic soon. Enjoy!

As it would turn out, forgetting about the incident was much easier said than done. Every time that Vladimir so much as glanced down at the younger man he would be thrown back to the moment where they were staring at each other, Matt’s eyes wide and unseeing while Vladimir’s stared down equally as wide and in shock, and how Matt had gripped his arm and squirmed out from under him even as he himself moved away. While Matt, anytime that he and Vladimir wrapped their arms together so that the blonde could lead him in front of his friends and family he was only able to think about touching Vladimir’s still damp skin and he would have to will a blush away.

The Nelson family had decided that since it’d been so long since they’d seen Foggy and Matt that they would take the two and Vladimir out to lunch. Which Vladimir raised an eyebrow at in cautiousness when they walked back into the bar from the previous day. Matt just turned so that he could give Vladimir a half amused half encouraging expression. This seemed to calm the Russian down enough so that he could lead Matt to the table that the rest of the small family was moving to sit in.

It wasn’t very long though until they were being accompanied by the group of people that Vladimir had met the previous night, minus Clint, which was just fine by Vladimir. Though when he glanced over to Elektra, who had followed Natasha and Yelena’s lead and dragged a chair over to the table and made herself right at home, he couldn’t help but to casually, but really not so casually, slip his arm over Matt’s shoulder. He didn’t even react when Matt tensed slightly under his touch before calming again, this time much quicker than usual, though a faint pink color painted the tips of his ears.

The blonde tried not to think of how easily Elektra fit with Matt as he watched the two play bicker back and forth, Foggy rolling his eyes in amusement as he listened to them. Really, everyone is watching the two in amusement. As if this is something that happens very often. And as he watches and listens to the ex-couple, he thinks maybe that isn’t too far off the mark.

It seemed that everything was going too well and so of course life had to throw a curveball and ruin Vladimir’s day with Clint moving to the table and saying all too happily, “Oh you’re back!”

“Hey, Clint,” Matt said, edge of his mouth curling into a slight smirk as Vladimir tried to scoot further away from Clint and almost winding up in Matt’s lap.

Clint just grinned back. “Sup Murdock? You leave for a few years and bring back a fiancé. Where’d you find him?” Clint asked teasingly, looking Vladimir over and smirking when the Russian just scowled at him.

“The darkest pits of Hell,” Matt said simply without even pausing. He yelped softly when Vladimir just pinched his shoulder. “I’m kidding!” He muttered, still smirking, as he rubbed at the slightly tender spot. “Kidding, asshole.” He turned his attention back to where he had heard Clint’s voice come from. “He came raining from the sky.”

“Like an angel? That’s really sweet,” Wade said, half interested but mostly lost in thought. He wondered for a moment if he could leave the bar to run by the one Taco Bell a few minutes away in favor of a chimichanga. Or three. ‘ _ Would Petey notice? Better to not risk it.’ _

“No, like an alien. Ow!” Matt rubbed at his side where Vladimir had elbowed him. He couldn’t keep the amused smirk from his face even as he practically felt his boss scowling down at him. “I’m kidding, sheesh!”

Clint just snickered while Anna and Grace Nelson rolled their eyes in fond amusement. Foggy watched his best friend and boss with a raised eyebrow, making a mental note to be sure to talk to Matt about what was going on with the flirting with their hell-spawn boss soon.

“Right, so everyone ready for drinks? We have dessert too by the way.” Clint informed the table, a lazy grin on his face.

“Pie. Whatever kind is available, bird brain,” Elektra stated simply before anyone could ask for a drink, eyes daring him to tell her there is no pie available. She gives an approving grin when the deaf man just gives a thumbs up.

Clint gave a nod before leaning closer to Vladimir. “And you, pretty Russian?”

“ _ For you to get the fuck away from me _ ,” Vladimir stated dryly in his native language, eyeing Clint in mild distaste. And really, that was the surprising part. That it was only mild distaste and not accompanied with a fist to Clint’s face. Which Matt was thankful for as Clint was a good friend of his.

Yelena snorted, choking on her drink as she laughed lightly. “Matthew, I love your fiancé.”

“That makes one of us,” came the amused retort. The words just earned him another sharp jab to the ribs. “Oh honey,” he says far too sweetly, leaning slightly closer to the blonde man, “you know I’m kidding!”

“Go away, mudak,” Vladimir said with an eyeroll, though he made no move to push Matt away or even remove his arm from the auburn haired man’s shoulders.

Yelena just tilted her head in amusement. “I want ten of him,” she said, looking at Natasha and pointing to Vladimir. Natasha just rolled her eyes at her girlfriend.

Matt shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. “You can have him.” A huff from his boss and Matt couldn’t help but let out an amused snort. “Oh come on! I’m kidding! He’s mine,” Matt laughed out, rubbing at his pinched shoulder. Vladimir rolled his eyes and let out a huff, half in amusement but mostly in exasperation.

Though everyone could see that the Russian was taking the jabs well and actually seemed more amused by his fiancé than annoyed. Anna had to stop herself from practically cooing at how relaxed the two men appeared to be. By this time Clint had finished taking the rest of the orders and was just waiting for Matt’s and Vladimir’s.

Vladimir glanced up at the blonde. “Vodka. Just vodka.” He ignored Matt’s disapproving frown.

“Not really hungry and not really in the mood for alcohol. Thanks though.” Matt told Clint.

Now it was the Russian’s turn to give a frown in disapproval. Along with the Nelson family. He turned to Clint and stated simply with no room for argument, “If there is pie, is there cake?"

“Duh there’s cake. It's a party. No party is complete without cake,” Clint responded simply, eyebrow raised. “Now whether the cake is good or not is debatable. I mean it has been sitting in a bar. So.”

Vladimir tilted his head towards Matt. “He will take cake.” He ignored Matt giving him a glare and Clint just shrugged before walking away.

“The cake should be fine,” Natasha stated simply. “Wade bought a cake for your homecoming lunch today. Peter bought some sort of pie. So they’re both fresh straight from the bakery down the street.”

“What kind of pie?” Elektra interrupted, staring straight at Peter with a look that clearly said it had better be a good flavor.

The brunette frowned. “I think it was apple.”

“Good.”

Vladimir raised an eyebrow at the woman’s tone but otherwise didn’t comment and proceeded to zone out of the conversation until Natasha was jerking him back into it with a raised eyebrow and, “I wouldn’t worry much about Clint by the way. He has a boyfriend, he just enjoys fucking with people.”

Before Vladimir could respond Matt and Foggy were both whipping their heads to stare at her in surprise and breathing out in surprise, “Clint, what?!”

Natasha just shrugged, corners of her mouth raising into a slight smirk. “Some diplomat or prince in Wakanda.” She took a sip of her drink to hide her amusement as Matt and Foggy’s mouths dropped open in surprise.

“Clint? As in our Clint? As in the Clint who is a walking disaster, Clint?” Matt asked breathlessly.While at the same time Foggy just gave Natasha a look full of disbelief and said dryly, “Does prince have the same meaning in Russian as it does in English?”

Natasha just snorted softly. “I know what prince means.” She turned to Matt, “As if you aren’t a walking disaster?” She raised an eyebrow at the other man, just waiting for him to say something.

Matt pointed a finger at her. “That… is not what we are talking about.” He chose to ignore Vladimir’s scoff.

The redhead gave a shrug. “Fair enough.”

“Our Clint got a diplomat in Wakanda…” Foggy breathed out in surprise before turning back to his amused parents and Nana Nelson. “And you three didn’t ever say anything?”

Nana Nelson just huffed out a laugh, waved her hand dismissively, and gave a simple, “Oh like you would have believed us.” She gave a grin when both of her grandsons frowned as they realized she was right. Clint with a diplomat, hell a  _ prince _ , was just a hard concept to grasp.

The conversation lulls into calm small talk, easy and flowing and once again Vladimir feels uncomfortable and slightly out of place. As though he’s intruding on something special. A part of Matt’s life that he shouldn’t be seeing let alone experiencing. But Matt seems fine. Completely at ease actually. But whether that’s a show for his family or he actually is feeling comfortable pressed against Vladimir’s side is beyond Vladimir.

Though he can’t help but to hope, even if it’s just a fleeting thought, that Matt is really comfortable and not just putting up a front. He doesn’t realize when he begins rubbing small, soothing circles into Matt’s shoulder, too lost in his own thoughts. He doesn’t even realize when his assistant slowly leans against his side even more. And he doesn’t notice that Clint has returned with their drinks and the cake and pie until he hears Matt and Elektra arguing over her slice of pie.

He rolls his eyes as he takes a quick drink from his glass as the two bicker. The blonde can’t help the amusement he feels as he watches Matt and Elektra glare at each other, forks clashed together right in the center of the apple pie.

“Matthew,” the woman says warningly.

“Elektra,” comes the simple statement. Matt sounds as though he’s just commenting on the weather.

“If you wish to keep your hand, remove your fork from my pie,” the young woman says slowly in a false calm tone. 

Matt just hums and smirks before slowly removing his fork. Elektra scowls at him when she notices that he’s stealing a small bite and is quick to move her plate closer towards her.

It’s just a few more moments before Elektra asks, mouth full of pie and not even looking up from her plate, “So did I miss the story?”

Vladimir puts his glass down, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. A quick glance down and he sees Matt pausing, fork halfway to his mouth with a small bite of cake on it.

“What story?” They ask in unison. They ignore as Anna says how cute it is that they seem to finish each other’s sentences and speak at the same time.

Elektra just rolls her eyes. “You know the story. Don’t play dumb Matthew.”

“Uhh…?” Matt shrugs.

The woman just sighs in disappointment. “The story about how you proposed!”

Matt forced a grin. “I’m sorry?” Really he just hoped that he had misheard his ex. Both his and Vladimir’s thoughts began to race, both trying to think of how to come up with a false engagement story since it was becoming apparent from everyone else’s suddenly bright and curious grins.

Foggy choked on his drink and hastily pushed his cup away, now completely amused and wanting to see how Matt and Vladimir would get out of this. “Oh wow. You know what? I actually haven’t heard this story either! Matty, why don’t you tell us?” The blonde grinned brightly, having to bite back his laugh when both Vladimir and Matt sent him a sharp glare. He just gave them both a grin, completely amused and unafraid.

Anna gave a warm smile to her adopted son and soon to be son in law. “Oh I’d love to hear this, wouldn’t you honey?”

Edward gave a nod. “Of course! It’s a very important thing, how you propose. So come on you two!” He says teasingly, eyes twinkling in unmasked amusement as he watches the two young men almost squirm in place.

“Story! Story!” Wade chanted. It wasn’t very long before everyone else joined in all too enthusiastically.

Vladimir scowled slightly, feeling a headache coming along. “Alright! Alright!” He gave a small sigh of relief as the chants died down into yells of cheer.

Nana Nelson nodded, giving a stern but amused look to the couple. “You know,” she pointed her finger at the two of them, “how a man proposes says a lot about his character! So, which of you did it? Who popped the question?”

Matt pursed his lips slightly, a light flush dusting his cheeks. “Well you know, Vladimir actually likes telling this story.” He completely ignored the sharp pinch to his thigh. “So I’ll just let him tell it.”

The Russian forced a grin and gave Matt’s thigh another quick pinch, playing it off as though he were just rubbing his fiancé’s leg. “Da… Where to begin, where to begin…” He took a quick gulp of his vodka, welcoming the quick burn that it gave.

“Maybe from the beginning would be best,” Matt chirps up, false ease dripping from him.

Vladimir just rolled his eyes. Then slowly turned so that he was looking right at Matt and gave a small smirk. “It was a Thursday night. And Thursdays are my, our,” he gestured between himself and Matt, “grocery shopping day. Matvey,” when Natasha gave a borderline disapproving frown he quickly backtracked and corrected himself, willing away the blush he knew that wanted to come onto his face. “Matyushka,” Matt frowned slightly, eyebrows furrowing at the unfamiliar name. “Usually comes with me.”

Matt slowly nodded. “Yeah. Otherwise he buys shitty groceries.”

Vladimir chose to ignore this. “But he chose to stay in apartment. I really should have known something was going on with him.”

“Really should have. Obviously,” Matt stated with a small nod of the head. He hopes that his confusion is masked enough to where no one else can tell that this is obviously his first time hearing this story as well.

“This man is about as subtle as a fucking gun.” The Russian ignored as his assistant gave an offended gasp. “So I knew something was up. Just not what. Chose not to think anything of it. And then he says he will cook dinner while I get groceries. Now,” Vladimir leans forward slightly, taking far too much pleasure from making up this story, “when he says this, I am almost sure that he is going to poison me.”

He smirks when the Nelson’s all give amused laughs, Elektra nodding in understanding. She had had Matt’s cooking and she could understand where Vladimir was coming from.

Matt just scoffed, arms crossing over his chest. “I’m beginning to wish I had, sweetheart.” Vladimir just nudges his ribs with his elbow before continuing with the story.

“But I choose to have faith in his cooking abilities. Really, was terrible idea. He cannot cook worth shit.” When everyone just nods and makes noises of agreement Vladimir exhales in relief.

Matt just looks completely offended as he blurts out, “I can cook just fine.”

“Oh, Matty. You really can’t,” Candace says apologetically.

Vladimir smirks at the  forwning auburn haired man. “Da, so I get back home and am reaching the door when I smell it. It smells as though whole building is on fire.” Matt scowls at him. “And this happens often-”

“Just don’t let him cook. Ever. You’re better off that way,” Elektra interrupts. She gives Matt a look full of disapproval and Vladimir one of mild concern. “You’ll live longer.”

The Russian choked on a laugh that he hid by quickly taking another gulp of his alcohol. “So I open the door and smoke is just everywhere and the windows are open so the smoke will leave but it does not and there he is, standing in middle of kitchen with smoke everywhere and stove is on fire!”

Matt’s jaw drops in shock. Which Vladimir smirks at and takes pleasure in the way everyone else is laughing softly in amusement.

“So he turns to where I am,” Vladimir continues as though he’d never stopped talking, “and he goes ‘I am sure it looks worse than it actually is!’”

Foggy snorts out a laugh, burying his face into his palms. Even though he knows it’s all a lie, it’s still hilarious. And he wonders how Vladimir knew exactly what to say considering Matt had never cooked for him. Right? Right.

“Oh dear God!” Edward wheezes out between his laughs, shaking his head. “What did you do?”

“He started cussing at me. A lot. Very loudly. He sounded close to tears himself,” Matt spits out, glaring harshly at the Russian beside him, before Vladimir can say anything else.

Vladimir just rolls his eyes. “Anyone else would too if they constantly had to fix the burnt down kitchen. But da. As I am yelling at him and trying to find fire extinguisher I notice that there are thousands upon thousands of confetti in shape of hearts-”

“Because I’m romantic,” Matt snaps out, face a bright red as he hears Foggy laughing. The blind man scowls as he grabs Vladimir’s vodka and takes a quick sip. Everyone ignores as he gags slightly.

Vladimir takes the glass back, eyes narrowed at his assistant. “-he drops down to his knees-”

Yelena leans over to Natasha and whispers just barely loud enough for Vladimir to hear, “Sounds like the entrance to a porno.”

Vladimir decides to continue with, “-which he does a lot for me-” Matt elbowed him in the ribs while everyone else just makes noises of amusement. “-and he is crying-”

“Manly tears!” Matt snaps out, eyes wide as Vladimir continues embarrassing him.

“-he pulls out tiny box and when he opens it even more heart shaped confetti spills out on the floor-”

“Because that is still very romantic!”

“-and he begs me-” Matt stomps on Vladimir’s foot. Vladimir winces and bites back a scowl. “-asks me to marry him. Of course I have to say yes since he is on his knees and crying and the kitchen is still on fire and is just biggest mess.”

Matt just slowly shakes his head as he wishes that Vladimir could read his mind and see all of the ways that he is mentally killing the Russian. But he just forces a sheepish smile. “Yep. I had planned a romantic dinner.”

“Obviously did not go well. Somehow he burned potatoes,” Vladimir stated, hoping that that was indeed something Matt would do.

From the way that Anna and Candace sighed he supposed that it was and so hid his ever growing smirk behind his glass.

“I did not burn them!” When everyone just hummed Matt gave a scowl. “I didn’t burn them!” He insisted. The auburn haired man turned to glare up at the blonde. “Tell them that I didn’t burn the potatoes!” A light pinch to Vladimir’s side accompanying his spit out words. Honestly he didn’t understand why he was getting so worked up over this completely false story, but he was. He could cook just fine he thought. He just chose to eat take out more often because he liked Thai food was all.

The Russian just wrinkled his nose in mild discomfort but otherwise didn’t really react to the sharp sting. “Fine, fine! Lightly charred.” Matt stomped on his foot again. And again it had no effect on the Russian. “Whatever helps you sleep better at night.”

Matt just scowled at him as everyone else laughed.

“That’s so sweet!” Anna said brightly, looking between the two with so much love just pouring from her. “Come on you two, let’s see a kiss!”

Both men stilled immediately, once again tense. “Huh?” “Chto?”

Anna just rolled her eyes in amusement. “Kiss! Come on now, Matty! Kiss!"

As soon as she said ‘kiss’ again everyone at the table began chanting the word, causing for a few random people in the bar to chant it as well.

Vladimir sighed as he felt his headache returning and hoping to make everyone stop yelling he lightly tugged Matt closer and quickly, very lightly, pressed a fast kiss to the younger man’s cheek. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed the blush on Matt’s ears spreading down to the back of his neck but otherwise didn’t comment.

“What? What is that?” Clint laughed out. “That was the worst kiss! Kiss him on the mouth!”

Matt narrowed his eyes but leaned closer to Vladimir and gave a muttered, “Just really quick.”

Vladimir forced a small laugh and then their lips touched. As soon as they felt contact they broke away.

“There you go! Happy, you heathens?” Matt asked, forcing lightness into his voice.

Everyone had stopped cheering and just stared at the couple in surprise. The silence was broken by Wade yelling out in exasperation, “What the fuck kinda kiss was that?!”

Foggy shook his head. “Hate to say it Matty, but that was shitty. Ow!” He yelped as Matt sent a kick towards his shin. “Uh… Sorry guys. Leg cramp.”

“Matty, give him a real kiss!” Nana Nelson yelled out.

“Nana!” Matt yelped, face flushing in embarrassment as the old woman joins in with trying to encourage a more indecent kiss.

The blonde sighed out a quiet barely audible, “Do it. Just do it and get it over with.”

Matt slowly reached for Vladimir, just barely missing poking him in the eye actually much to everyone else’s amusement, and tugs the Russian down. It’s not much of a kiss at first, more like pressing their lips together and not moving. But slowly they overcome their surprise that yes they are indeed doing this and move, Matt tilting his head slightly one way and Vladimir the other, and it becomes a light kiss.

Without even thinking about it Vladimir lightly trails the tip of his tongue over Matt’s lips. The motion surprises Matt and he lets out a small sound that could be called a moan and when his mouth opens Vladimir wastes no time in slipping his tongue into Matt’s mouth.

Matt doesn’t know whether he wants to tug Vladimir even closer or shove him away but ultimately decides that since his family is still watching he’ll tug Vladimir closer. And if he just so happened to want to, well no one else had to know that. And if he happens to like how Vladimir lets out a quiet, so quiet it’s barely audible to even Matt and Matt honestly thinks he may have possibly imagined it, moan into his mouth, well again, no one else has to know.

The two break the kiss at the same time. The kiss was barely a minute long but honestly it'd felt like so much longer to them both. Vladimir watches as Matt’s eyes slowly flutter from behind the deep red lenses until the auburn haired man is opening his eyes completely and moving further away from his boss. He raises an eyebrow at his expectant family.

“Happy?” Matt asks in as bored a tone as he can manage. He hopes that it's not obvious that this was clearly his and Vladimir's first kiss. He prides himself on not sounding as shaky as he feels.

Everyone just lets out happy coos and ‘aww’s at them before changing topics and talking about other things. Foggy purses his lips for just a moment and narrows his eyes at his best friend as he makes a mental note to ask why Matt seemed to enjoy that kiss a bit too much if you asked him.

Vladimir slowly wrapped his arm over Matt’s shoulders and when the auburn haired man didn’t so much as flinch, Vladimir wasn’t sure if he felt more relieved that his touch wasn’t making Matt tense or upset that Matt didn’t even seem to notice him. Another glance down at Matt and he sees that his assistant is very obviously not listening to the conversations taking place and he can’t help but wonder what it is that has captured Matt’s attention.

He’s so focused on watching Matt and Matt is so focused on anything else that neither notice how the conversation taking place has switched to their false wedding being arranged right before them. 

Foggy’s eyes are wide and he nudges at Matt’s leg from under the table when Matt just nods in agreement to Anna asking, “Is that alright, Matty?”

“Great! Then it’s decided! You two will get married the day before you leave!” Anna said joyfully.

This finally jerked Vladimir and Matt from their thoughts and both turned to stare at her in shock.

“We’re going to what?” Matt asked, forcing a smile to his face. “No no no. We can’t get married in two days!”

Vladimir nodded, agreeing too quickly. Not that anyone really noticed that as they were all too focused on why Matt was now suddenly disagreeing with the quick wedding.

“And why not?” Anna raised an eyebrow, arms crossing in mild annoyance. “You’re going to be getting married soon anyway. You may as well do it here that way Nana can be a part of it.”

Vladimir frowned as he began to see that they had clearly thought this out while he hadn’t been paying them any attention. The old woman seemed to notice that trying to talk Matt into a quick wedding wasn’t going to work so she turned to Vladimir and gave him a pitiful look.

“Nothing would make me happier than being able to see my grandson’s wedding. Please won’t you two do this? For me?” Grace asked.

The blonde just gave Matt a look as if to ask for help but it was wasted on the blind man. So finally he just shook his head and said slowly with his accent slightly thicker, “Nyet. Is your birthday. We uh we do not want to ruin it.”

Now Matt was the one to nod quickly in agreement. “Yeah we couldn’t do that to you, Nana. It’s your birthday!”

The old woman just waved her hand dismissively. “I have had eighty-nine birthdays, Matty! You’re my grandchild and I would like to see at least one of you get married before I die!”

Foggy and Candace both give her dry looks as if to say ‘Thanks for the love, Nana’. Which leads the old woman to just roll her eyes at her other two grandchildren. "Oh Foggy dear, you and Marci are being so slow on taking the next step to actually dating that I'm worried I won't live long enough to see that let alone a wedding!"

“Besides,” Wade speaks up, “who wouldn’t want their friends there? We can all come and it’ll be great!” There are mumbles of agreement from around the table.

“Vladimir.” Matt states.

“Huh?” Vladimir lets out, confused what Matt means by saying his name. A quick glance around and Vladimir sees that everyone else is just as confused as he is.

Matt just leans closer to Vladimir and puts on his own pitiful expression. “He’s not a big people person. Are you, honey?”

A pause as Vladimir tried to catch on. But then nodded. “Da. Am not a big people person. Sometimes I can just barely stand Matvey. Is best if we have wedding later.”

Nana Nelson just sighed. “Well, if that’s what you two want.”

“It is,” Matt said quickly.

Vladimir nodded. “Da. Is for the best.”

Grace just nodded sorrowfully but didn’t stop talking. “I suppose I’ll live. Maybe. I am getting old though.” When Matt and Vladimir frowned at her she just let out another sigh. “Maybe I’ll even live long enough to see future great grandchildren. It would have been a dream come true, just my dream, to see our little Matty getting married though.”

Foggy gave Matt a look full of disappointment. To anyone else it seems as though he were doing it because of Matt not wanting to get married for their Nana but really it was because he knew that it would crush their parents and Nana Nelson when Matt and Vladimir divorced. “Oh come on, Matt! For Nana! At least let her see you get married, man.”

“Well…” Matt trailed off. He turned to give Vladimir a look as if to tell Vladimir what decision to make.

Vladimir narrowed his eyes but then slowly nodded. “Alright! Fine!”

Nana Nelson practically beamed. “Oh wonderful! It’ll be on the solstice! And that’s good luck.” Vladimir nodded but otherwise didn’t comment. So Nana Nelson just continued. “It’s an Alaskan thing. Oh it’ll be wonderful! What kind of cake do you two prefer?”

“Ptichye moloko,” Vladimir answered softly. The memory of standing on one of the kitchen chairs and watching his mother decorate the cake and him waiting so impatiently for the cake to be finished pops to mind. He almost smiles when he remembers Anatoly ruffling his hair and laughing at him for being so impatient.

Matt recognized his tone as the one Vladimir had whenever he spoke about his family and immediately gave Vladimir a reassuring squeeze to his hand that everything would be alright and that he was there, he wasn’t alone before letting go once more.

Natasha gave a small smile. “I used to love ptichye moloko. It’s been a long time since I’ve had it. Perhaps Yelena and I can attempt to make it.”

Matt nods slowly as he makes a note to himself to ask Vladimir what sort of cake this is. Then he says as calmly as possible, “Sounds like a great plan.”


End file.
